Don't drop your guard
by perfectmanda
Summary: Brendan Brady is currently serving a life sentence for his crimes, his lover Steven Hay has planned a way to be with his man over the year that has passed since he was taken away will he succeed?
1. Chapter 1

Don't let your guard down

Chapter 1

"My name is Brendan Seamus Brady from North Dublin and this is my final confession, oi love ye, cos I cant live my life without ye, oi love ye Steven, I'm never gonna feel any differently about ye either I promise, ye changed everything Steven, everything!", "nooo Brenduuun!"

Whoa there's that fucking nightmare again, it has been a year since he was taken from me and still I dream of him every single night without fail, and whether it's a dream or a nightmare I couldn't really give a fuck, I'd sleep forever just to be with my handsome blue eyed lover. That is why I'm doing this, I've planned this since a week after I lost him, I hid away because I was ashamed, ashamed that my boyfriend was a murdering scumbag, but of course they didn't know what I know, the villagers, they only know what they read in the headlines, total bollocks!

Brendan Brady shot his father in cold blood right in front of his baby sister, yeah sure he did, it's not like his dad was a homophobic, child abusing, vile human being who had ruined my Bren's life by subjecting him to sexual abuse from eight years old onwards, oh wait, that is exactly how it was!

Oh I forgot to mention my name is Steven Hay, I'm a 25 year old father of two and my boyfriend, the love of my life is looking at a 30 year stretch for ridding the world of a few disgusting creatures, all evil people of course, people who nobody will miss, if you ask me he did the world a favour. There is one thing nobody saw coming though, my plan! Yeah they all think I am just the silly little twink from the deli, who doesn't have much of the old grey matter, well, they were fucking wrong! After they took my man, I was a mess, I was drinking and I was angry heading for a downward spiral, but sitting alone in our flat a thought came to me, I am still a married man, I am still married to Doug Carter, so then it hit me, by law, I can be Steven Carter, I can easily take my husbands name!

I can be someone else, someone that the prison Brendan Brady currently resides in, won't suspect at all, no because Brendan's young man was Steven Hay wasn't he. Steven Carter is someone else entirely isn't he? And to be honest I'm done working in the deli and since I've toughened up since he went down, I start my new job today, I can't wait, just need to sort out my uniform and get in the car and drive.

"Yo Brendan mate, heard we've got a new boy starting today, fresh blood to torture haha" "that's your style Alex, I'm keeping moi head down, can't be arsed"

Hi I'm Brendan Brady, currently serving life at her majesties pleasure for moi sins, its been a year I've been here now and I've made a few friends, oi didn't know what male friends were on the outside moi best friend was the love of moi life and after him the best mate I had was a woman, Anne ah beautiful Anne, one person I could talk to about anything and she'd never judge me. Anne lives in America now but she's written to me, since I got locked up in here, she visited her sister Maxine in the village and in the process checked up on my Steven for me, told me he wasn't doing too good, at the moment I read about my boy I just wished I could look into his gorgeous eyes and wrap my arms around that skinny little fragile body of his, make him feel safe, I miss my boy every minute of every day.

I dream of Steven, I dream of holding him in his sleep, holding him close and never letting him go. This is unconditional love, it never goes away and it never dies, what I feel for Steven goes beyond anything I've ever felt for anyone, I still love him with every single bit of my heart.

"Yo Brendan mate" "ye alright Alex where did ye go?" "ok. So. The strangest thing just happened right Brendan!, I was walking through the wing and the new guard stopped me, I swear mate if I'd of been batting for your team I think even I would, cos the new guy right he is really good looking, all the boys on the wing are totally lusting after him. Anyways, oh, like I was saying, strangest thing yeah, he took me to one side and he whispered do you know Brendan Brady? In my ear, then he said if you do, tell him to meet me in the laundry room in one hour yeah, so I ran right up here to pass on his message, but it's a bit weird aint it B?" "Ye it is Alex, and this guard, what did he look like, did he have an accent?" "yeah he was a manc mate and hes tall, a bit scrawny and he has brown hair kinda quaffed up at one side like a quiff" "Alex are ye fucking messing with me right now? Cos that just aint funny boy" "no Brendan I'm being deadly serious mate it's the gods honest I swear. Why what is it what's up?"

"Oi don't know yet Alex, I um I can't be sure of anything. Laundry room one hour right?" "yeah, yeah that's what he said" "did he tell ye his name?" "yeah he said I have to call him Mr. Carter, better than Sir I guess huh" "errr yeah. Urm ok thank ye Alex, can ye just leave me alone with my thoughts for a while mate please" "aye ne bother see ya in a bit mate."

Oh my god Carter, but it can't be it can't be Douglas, Alex said a Manchester accent and Douglas well Douglas is yankier than fried chicken, I'm getting nervous now, as more time passes my stomach is doing back flips, my hopes are high but I don't want them to be, it cannot be him it can't be Steven, the new guard it can't be my Steven because my Steven is a chef with his own deli and I told him to stay away, to move on, I told him that was the way it had to be. Still there's a part of me that actually believes that my boy is here, in this building and I just have to go to that room.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 2

Oh god, I'm so nervous, he's going to be so mad at me but I just couldn't do it I couldn't stay away from him, I told him I would never feel any differently about him and I meant it I never will, I know in my heart its him I want always and forever and this, this is just the first stage of my plan, the big reveal!

Oh no it's been an hour so if that young lad did as I asked and passed on my message he will be here any minute, I need to build up to this, to seeing him, jesus I'm not ready for this yet, I need to hide, see if he comes in and then let him see me. Oh shit the door is opening, wow its him! It's my Brendan, still as fucking desirable as sexy as ever, how do I do this? What do I do? What if he freaks out!? "hello anyone here? New boy, hey new boy if ye are here come out and face me!" oh my that accent still has the power to turn me right on, oh for fucks sake! Now aint the time for a massive boner to make an appearance, this is so fucking awkward. "Oi new boy! If ye call me down here at least have the balls to come and see me" that's it I'm going to have to be strong, im going to have to go out there that's it I'm doing it "new boy I'm not gonna ask ye again HOLY FUCK!… Ste.. Steven? Steven is it really ye? It can't be ye!" "it's me Bren, ill prove it, if, if you want?"

"Oh yeah, and how ye gonna do that?" "I'm gonna show you what you've, erm what we've been missing, close your eyes Brendan, close them now, trust me ok?" "mmm ok I trust ye" I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his strong muscular body, god I've missed this! I lean forward and kiss his neck, he still smells amazing even in prison, he's turning round now, I know he wants to look at me, study me all over it excites me.

I can't believe he's here my boy, he's right behind me, holding me, I want to question him ask him why he's here, how he's managed to swing this, but being here like this after a whole year, I just need to touch him, to taste him, to tease him, I just need, I just want him right here right now, I want to ruin him and hear him screaming out my name in sheer ecstasy I want to hear the damage I do when he comes undone for me, I don't think he knows I've realised he's rock hard for me right now, I can feel it poking me, I can tell he's so horny by the way his hands are all over my stomach, this is what he does when he craves more attention, so I move my hands down to his and I take them in mine and put them up my sweater.

He probably thinks I look like such a tramp in here, he's used to seeing me in swanky suave tailored suits or smart jeans and shirts not scruffy prison issue grey sweaters and jogging bottoms I don't feel fit enough to be with him he looks really hot he's gorgeous long lashes, deep dark eyes I can get lost in if I look for too long and perfect soft golden skin that I just can never say no to touching my boy is the whole package without a doubt.

This is like role reversal, Steven is wearing smart casual black trousers and a blue shirt with his little prison guard gadgets attached to him, and me I look like a chav I just hope he doesn't mind. His hands are on my body, god I have missed this, I just want to kiss him right now but I'm too worried I might swallow him whole or maybe even bite his lips too hard, I just wanna jump on him and take every part of him in every way.

"Erm Steven how long do we have here?" "ooh just give me a second Brendan I have an idea keep quiet a minute" Steven picks up his walkie talkie and tells the guard room that a machine in laundry is broken down and so he's locked the room up until the handyman can come and fix it clever little bastard! "we have until lock up Bren the other guards will just assume you are off somewhere with some guy I've heard about your reputation in here, don't worry I don't mind" "hey, hey.. Steven I haven't touched anyone since ye, I thought about it once, it made me sick the thought of my hands on someone who isn't ye bleugh no thank ye!" "seriously? Nobody at all!?" "nope nobody I wouldn't dream of it" " I know the feeling all I wanted was you Bren" "all I wanted was ye Steven correction all I WANT is ye Steven so lets just go for it yeah."

"Steven did you bring ye know protection? Cos I don't have anything, the last thing I expected when my presence was requested by the new guard was that I would be fucking him in the laundry room" "oh shit Brendan I'm sorry, it never crossed my mind I was just so excited about coming back to you I couldn't form a single other coherent thought, but erm.. I haven't been with anyone since you and you haven't been with anyone since me so we could always just you know do without it?" "ye sure Steven?" "yeah look Bren right now I just want you, I want you all over me, I want to take over every part of you, I wanna dominate your mouth with mine, we have got at least one hour before they notice you are nowhere around lets just make the most of it."

"Yeah good point Steven I just want it to be perfect for ye, like a first date not just a quick shag in the washroom, I want it to be ye know noice" "it's always nice… well not nice, perfect, with you Brendan you know something I could just sit here starring at you for the next hour and I'd still be content I love you Brendan Brady I always have and I always will." "you're not just planning on starring at me thought are ye?" " erm noooo! Of course not Brendan look its been a year right so listen up cos this is gonna get dirteh, I need you to destroy me, I want you to pin me down and take what you need, there is plenty of time for perfect later." "I'm not gonna be rough with ye Steven and I'm not gonna treat ye like a girl either I just want it to be passionate and loving like us" "sounds promising" "doesn't it now can you do me the honour and take off your clothes."

He looks so tasty, here like this unbuttoning his blue shirt, it takes me back to that day in Chez Chez that perfect day when I thought the world was right again when I thought that cunt was dead. That day I only had to ask my boy just once to strip for me and he did it he's so eager to please so perfect, fair enough Scottish foxy came in and killed the mood but I was more concerned about the fact he saw my boys bare flesh, Steven is moine hes moi boy and there are some things for moi eyes only his body especially for me only.

I can't believe we are here again, me stripping while Brendan enjoys a good perve up close and personal, this takes me back. Hes pawing me like I'm not really here like he's imagining me and needs to keep touching, my man is constanly craving the touch of my skin on his, I just want him to kiss me, to kiss away the last year like it never happened me alone without him miserable, I just wanna forget.

Fuck it! If he wants to do the touching, I'm gonna initiate the kissing, I reach out a hand to stroke his face as I come closer to him as I got to put my other hand on his chest I feel the loss of his hand on me he reaches up and lays his palm over the hand I'm holding to his cheek and holds me there then he speaks "oh Steven, moi Steven, oi've missed this, missed ye, to know there is just one person out there who ye want, who ye love with all your heart and to not be able to hold him or even see him every day it killed me inside, I love ye so much, oi didn't know it was possible to love as much as oi love ye, and oi didn't think I'd ever lay my eyes on your gorgeous face ever again" "shhh Bren it's ok I'll never leave you again, you'll never lose me, you told me to move on to live my life without you and do you know something, I didn't even try, the thought didn't cross my mind once giving up, I have spent the last year just planning my way back to you and now I'm here and I'm yours and I want you to do everything you want with me cos there is nothing I would deny you, if you asked me for the world I'd give it to you Brendan Brady because you have given it to me, you are my world."

Finally Brendan moves forward close enough for me to feel his warm breath on my face, he kisses me, one hand still on mine and the other on my hip stroking it with his thumb. His tongue still tastes as perfect as the first time I let it explore inside of my mouth so soft and tentative, his lips still the sexiest lips I'll ever kiss and his hand is moving from my hip to my arse, Brendan loves to grab my arse while we kiss, he knows it turns me on feeling him touch me while we play with each others tongues, our kiss grows fiercer and it's almost like there's an energy between us that refuses to let us part, we just can't stop kissing, well, it has been a year, we have a lot of lost time to make up for and this, this is just heaven, we haven't got any further than kissing and groping and its just perfection.

Steven is so perfect like this, the need in him is driving me absolutely wild, my hand is on his arse but although I don't wanna rush this, I have te, because if they notice I'm not around and come looking for me and catch us like this then its game over for me and Steven and he would end up being my new neighbour, as tempting as that sounds its not what oi want I don't want my boy in here, not like that he's too perfect and he deserves his frredom. I'm lifting Steven up now the best thing about him is he's so light and he knows the score too his ankles are already locked together behind my back, the arms tightly wrapped around the back of my neck and I've got him up against the wall.

This isn't the most romantic of settings but it'll do for now, when we work something out for the next round I'll make it up to him, jesus my boy is keen his hands have already found their way into my joggers and he looks a little outraged when he realises I'm going commando today, I'm so hard now its time, I ask him if he's ready for the fastest fuck we've ever had cos usually I like to draw things out with him and also unfortunately I know I'm not going to last long this time because I haven't well done anything at all since I left him, I know I have my hand but it's not the same when I've had him it doesn't even compare.

He wants me so badly, so I'm ready to give him what he wants " this isn't gonna hurt ye is it Steven ye know without the supplies" "nah just go for it Bren, I don't give a fuck I just want you all the way balls deep baby the way we both love it" "jeeze don't talk like that Steven you'll get me off without the contact" "and we definitely wouldn't want that now would we Bren?" I pull Steven closer to me and I tuck my head under his face into his neck and I enter him slowly, just because this isn't the perfect shag pad I'm still gonna be careful with him, he's my boy, my everything, he's so scrawny and fragile I'd never want to hurt him.

As I enter him, he's dragging me closer and closer to try and trick me into giving him his own way, he can't get enough of me, I wanna taste that neck, so I suck on it as I push further into him, it stifles my moans which can only be a good thing because I'm surprised the rest of the prison can't hear this. And Steven, he's just as bad, in fact no Steven is worst, filthy little fucker he always was the champion of babbling all of these filthy profanities into my ear begging me to have no mercy and to fuck him senseless, just absolute unadulterated smut and this time is no different to any other.

"Oh Brendan, I want you to fuck me till I can't walk, hammer me into this wall as if your life depends on it" and I want to fucking hell I really want to, but he's too flawless to just "fuck" right now, I love him and don't get me wrong I'm a huge fan of the wild animalistic shagging that he's asking for, but right now I want to take him slowly and kiss him gentle and softly, today I don't want to fuck Steven, I want to make love to him, something I've never done with any other man only my Steven.

"Steven, Ste. Steven, slow down yeah. I told you we are taking it easy!" "why Bren? I'm sorry right but it has been ages I just wanna jump on yer" "I'd love that but just this once can we do things my way please? I promise next time there will me no stopping me I'll be all over ye just the way you always want it and put that lip away ye sulky little bugger" I lean forward again and steal those pouting little perfect lips our tongues once again exploring each other as if they are meeting again for the first time, I'm thrusting into him so gently but he still loves it he loves every inch, I can tell because I can feel the pain in the back of my neck where he's digging his nails he's destroying my neck but I don't mind I like it and it's fair because I'm wrecking his neck with my teeth.

I don't want him here like this anymore, pinned against the wall I mean, his legs stay wrapped around my body as I move us down to the cold floor, fuck it we'll soon warm it up! His legs wrap tighter around me and I know I said I wouldn't but I start thrusting harder and faster oh so sue me I always give him his own way in the end, it's not exactly the way he'd like it but it's good, actually it's not good its fucking great! And he's moaning so loud now and almost ripping my sweater off as he finally gets it over my head he doesn't want clothes separating our bodies anymore and to be honest neither do I.

"Steven are ye excited enough for me or do ye need a hand?" "I'm fine Bren, a hand would be a fucking bonus though I want you to touch me, grab me in that dirty little hand and make me blow it all over your arm" " god damn it Steven, graphic!" I take my hand and slowly run my fingers over his shoulder down to his chest, I move my head from his neck and run my tongue from his neck down to his chest and lick around his nipples taking them with my teeth every so often just to hear the whimpering little sounds he makes when I do this to him, I keep moving my hand down further past his stomach and I stop at his hips place my other hand on the other hip and hold him still then I thrust into him as hard as I can just to hear him cry out my name and scream as I hit the right spot, I pull out of him and move down to have a bit of a lick around his rock hard cock, I'm not gonna suck him off, not today I just want to tease him.

"I'm gonna fuck ye Steven I'm gonna ruin ye, can't help myself I have te" "fine with me" I line up ready again between his long hairy legs and I slam into him so hard that his arms swing up and back down again and start clawing into the floor behind his head as if he would do in bed with our sheets as he tore them up, he wraps his legs around me again and pulls me in as far as I will go then he lets me take control again, he's screaming so much that I have to kiss him again just to shut him the fuck up! "Steven, FUCKING HELL you must be close to you know NOW!" "yeah yeah I am" "do ye need that hand now?" "won't be necessary Bren this is enough just keep going in fact no go harder" for fucks sake does he want to kill me or something fine I'll pound the little fucker so hard he won't see straight for the next half hour, I start destroying him so hard we are shifting across the ground, don't think I'm gonna hold out for much longer not with the way he's coming undone underneath me the way his hands have moved and are now clawing my entire back instead of the floor "oh Bren im gonna im gonna come" "same Steven come with me babe come on join me in ecstasy."

Oh wow that was intense, amazing and intense my boy came with me, he gave everything he has to give and I returned the favour, I lay here now with my Steven in my arms, my cock has gone soft yet I'm still looking at him like I'd do it all over again within the minute like I could just eat him alive, he's just so perfect laying there those long dark lashes batting away at me, I can see the whole world when I look into those eyes cos he is the whole world I have an entire universe lying here beside me clutching his skinny arm over my naked body scared to let go. I can't help but kiss him every two minutes.

I have so many questions I need to ask, but the words just won't come now in this moment I just want to look, kiss and touch, my hand has barely left his body since we finished making love, I just want to stroke over his gorgeous golden body and take over his lips. Maybe I'll find a way to get him into my cell later and we can… erm talk or something, well at least try to we can plan a chat but we both know we are gonna end up shagging again it's a certainty but for now there's just one thing I need to say to him "I love ye Steven Hay I love ye and I'm never gonna let ye go" " I love you Brendan Brady I'm never gonna lose you again you are too damned valuable you are my everything."


	3. Chapter 3

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 3

"Come on you, we need to get you back to your cell before they start getting suspicious" "ok steven" I say in a sad tone cos I am sad this is where we've got to say goodbye for the whole night I can' bare to be away from him, suddenly, I remember something "oh shit, I've just remembered there's a memorial service for a guy who committed suicide, in the chapel later on and we all have to go, I could say I'm sick or something, if you wanna iron things out we really need to talk Steven" I wont exactly be lying if I say im sick I am I'm love sick they don't have to know that though.

"Erm… yeah I'll see if I can change shifts with one of the other guards not to go to the chapel I'm sure there will be someone who'd prefer to sit on their arse instead of wandering aimlessly around the wing" Steven didn't like chapels or churches I know I'm a religious man a born catholic but I understand Steven's point of view its Rae I know that, I know he hates god because of Rae "too many painful memories Steven, Rae, the murder?" "yeah, I'll never understand her death if there is a god why did he take her and why did he do it that way?" "can't answer that I'm afraid Steven but I did think about it while I was banged up for it" "aww I'm still sorry for that baby" "it's fine Steven, ye know it didn't exactly look good from everyone else's points of view after the events between myself and Rae, anyways can we just talk about something else please."

"Yeah it's time to get outta here Bren" "ok, come here ye gissa kiss gissa kiss" he kisses me long and lingering no tongue no ulterior motive, just lips, this is the I love you kiss, you see Brendan and I we have special and different kisses with separate meanings; long,  
Sloppy, wet and full of passion for the main event, the quick peck that says hey I appreciate you if we are in a hurry to leave each other and this one the lips on lips this is I love you, this is I can't be without you, the sweet kiss and coming from Brendan it's still quite the shocker.

A few years ago the only time I was permitted to kiss him was if he was on a promise, if I was gonna let him ride me hard, then I'd go back to being his secret just his favourite little barman, of course the others didn't know why I was the favourite, they probably just suspected the same as Cheryl, that Brendan missed his boys and he fathered me to make up for it urghhh pretty gross thought, nah I was Brendan Brady's favourite because I would let him fuck me all over his sister's club, my flat, the alley nearby and pretty much anywhere else he fancied it. Cheryl assumed he was acting like a dad to me she said it the night Mitzeee outed us to Rae in the office, the night he'd been caught snogging my face off, the night I made a move and he couldn't resist me, because Brendan right he could never say no, not to me, I'd ask him why and he never answered me back then, but after Dublin I'd ask and he'd always give me the same answer it was because he loved me.  
Me and Steven are walking back to the wing I'm using all of my strength to not touch him and I'm telling ye it really is a challenge, especially when he won't quit that fucking adorable smile, looking like the cat who just rode cock, yeah and not just any cock his boyfriends. "Could ye be anymore obvious ye filthy little sod ye?" " I'm happeh I can't help it can I" Steven stops speaking and there it is that fucking grin again, I can'd do it anymore, I grab him and throw him into the wall pin him by his arms and snog the living hell outta him then I whisper in his ear "later Steven I'm gonna fuck ye so good it's gonna feel like the building is caving in" he smiles again I think he's looking forward to it, suddenly we hear the thud of prison issue boots coming from the other corridor the corridor that leads straight into this one!

" Fuck Steven, grab me tight round the arm hurt me, be rough and make it look convincing" it's fucking Smithy, this guy is right pain in my arse he's had in in for me since day one, "orite Carter what are you doing with Brady here?" "iyer Smithy, yeah I caught clever bollocks here having a sly fag in the laundry room didn't I Brady?" "er… yeah I didn't feel like sharing my cigs sticks sir sorry, won't happen again, actually I'm glad I bumped into ye sir I'm feeling really sick I'm just gonna go lie down in my cell can I give this service a miss please?" "yeah I guess since you go to prayers every day without fail I can give you a pass this once, you'll need an officer to stick around with you though, and since you've terrorised every officer except newbie here Carter you can do the honours" "my pleasure James I'm yer man and fucko here won't be terrorising me anytime soon will you Brady?" won't I I'll terrorise you with my cock ye cheeky bastard! "erm no sir I'll be on my best behaviour" just for authenticity I throw Smithy the menacing grin, you know the one I used on the custody sergeant when they first brought me in here, Steven digs his nails into my arm where he's holding me "that's enough of that Brady, back to your cell I'll be up to keep an eye on you soon."

"Watch out for that one Carter, he's a wrong un, one minute cool as a cucumber the next could be tearing your limbs off" "errr nice image before lunch thanks James" I can't make it obvious that the way he's talking about my man is pissing me right off, but, I 'm also intrigued about what Brendan has been getting up to in here without me so I enquire further. "So what exactly has Brady done in here?" " well when they first brought him in, he had a bullet wound in his arm from a shooting stand off with Chester's armed police force, so I knew he was gonna be a wild one, a few days into his sentence, the prison twink made an attempt to get better acquainted with him, Leon had slapped the lips on Brady, so Brady snapped the boys jaw! Brady was in love on the outside and has never let go so, now, no prisoner except his little bum chum Alex dares to get close in case word gets back to his precious Steven Hay that he's moved on in here. Although how anyone could possibly fall in love with that psychopathic loser is beyond me, I mean the guy hugged his own granny to death! Absolute loon Brady is a classic case of damaged goods. Word is that you are his new principal officer, just don't go getting silly ideas of saving him or changing him cos it's not gonna happen kid"

How dare he! How dare he speak about Brendan like that! I cant help it, the words just come out before I can stop them "FUCK OFF" I need a save "erm.. I mean fuck off seriously the guy went up against the armed police that is insane mate?!" urgh this guy is asking for a fist in his face, but I aint gonna fuck this up I've waited and planned for too long to lose it to a wanker who knows fuck all about mine and Brendan's lives. " right I'm off for lunch now mate got some errands to run in town so I'll be about an hour if anyone asks" "no problem Carter in a bit."

Right phase two of my plan is in progress the prison gate keys, all I need is to find a locksmith that isn't in the centre of town where people will see me so I drive to the place Doug suggested in Liverpool, oh did I forget to mention my ex husband is part of the plan too?

Hollyoaks village april 2013

"Come on Ste, you can't keep doing this to yourself, Brendan is gone this isn't gonna bring him back and its not gonna change anything" "arghhh just fuck off Doug right you never liked Brendan so don't act like you give a fuck now" I'm a mess I don't fucking need my ex to point it out to me, I'm well aware by myself thanks, the whisky tastes rank but it reminds me of him, so I keep it close I keep pouring glass after glass and thinking of wild thoughts, thoughts of getting him the fuck out of that prison and taking him away into the sunset to live happily ever after as husbands, my fantasy, my pipe dream. " Ste just tell me what I can do to make it better please I cant stand seeing you torture yourself like this" "you really want to help me?" "of course we're not together anymore Ste but I still love you as a mate and I still care about you" "you know what Doug you wouldn't understand so it's not even worth talking about" "try me" " fine.. I'm going to break Brendan out of prison" "you what!? Have you lost it ste you will go to prison yourself and how can you even do it" "I've got a plan ok, I use your last name because we are still legally married, I apply for a job as a prison guard in Brendan's prison, once I'm in they will give me keys to the gates all I need to do is smuggle the keys out to a place out of town and get copies made and then give them to Brendan, that's as far as I'm planning for now once I know the plan will work I'll work out everything else escape vehicle ect.. You said you'll do anything for me so help me?" "where would I come into it" "make me a sparkling perfect reference for the application for a start make out I'm the perfect candidate for any job and then find me somewhere to get the keys done" "ok I'm in just on this condition, if things go wrong and I'm implicated in any way you drop the plan and work something else out?" "yeah deal!"

and that's how Doug became involved in my scheme.

**Present day**

"Hey mate, keys should be ready in half a hour if you want to come back and pick them up? "erm yeah I'll just hang around town."

I wonder if there's anywhere in this uniform where I could hide a little gift for my boyfriend it's just a miniature bottle of whisky but I'm sure he'll love it for our chat, he's going to need it for the shock when I tell him I'm sure of it I know Brendan he's not going to go along with it at first but all it's gonna take is a few promises of a better life and some gentle persuasion from myself if I have to all I need is to flutter my eyelashes to get my own way with him.

"iyer are me keys ready yet mate" "yeah here you go have a nice day" "I'll try mate, back to work for me eh all work and no play and all that ha see yer." Hmm nice enough guy,  
Right, back to work via McDonald's I think all that energy I used earlier has made me hungry, Brendan loved McDonald's wish I could smuggle it in, ah think he'll be happy with his booze.

"Hey James I'm back, just gonna head straight up to the wing to keep an eye on Brady like you asked" "aye alright Carter everyone will be in chapel for the next two hours if you need anything" " I'm sure I'll be fine see you later"

I'm so excited to see his face when I give him his gift, I love to see him smile it's a new experience, he's never had much to smile about, until we got together a life of sadness and pretending to be someone he never could be. "Bren it's me, I'm back" he's sitting on the bed reading a fucking bible, I walk over to him take it from him and throw it across the room before I drape myself over him and kiss his lips "your lips a proper dry Bren" "yeah cos somebody stole all of my saliva earlier" "errr Brendan that's just disgusting" "haha yeah yeah it is actually you still love me though" "do I now" he moves into my face "yeah ye do" and he kisses me I love this dance, tongues massaging each other for the second time today, he's pulled me on top of him and his hands are wandering again trying to undo the buttons on my shirt "no Brendan stop it, I'm here to talk remember" "less talk more Brendan we can talk later" "if I give you something now can we talk now, there's plenty of time for sex after the chat" god I feel like I'm treating him like a child that has to be blackmailed to behave.

"ye.. Ok Steven, what ye got for me" I pull out his bottle and he grins like a Cheshire cat, I knew he'd love it he lunges for the bottle and I raise it above it and purse my lips at him until he realises he's not getting it until I get a thank you kiss. "Right, you have half hour to talk Steven, the other hour and a half is reserved for other delights, delights such as me sucking your big hard.." Brendan shhh talk time."

"He's here, in my room where there is a bed and he wants to fucking talk better make it fast or I'll just dive on him, so Steven, a talk this sounds serious? "yeah right Bren your not gonna like this but just hear me out please? On the outside with you gone, I was a mess I was drinking, I was having thoughts of hurting myself , I thought about ending it all but then I resolved to do something and, well what I wanted to do it's already in motion, I just need you on board" "ok what are ye doing Steven?" " I'm getting you out of here Brendan" " no Steven, ye can't do ye realise how long you'll get for this?" "not if they don't catch us I won't after I get you out of here we leave, we leave the country we go to America Mitzeee is on board with it she said we can live there with her and phoenix, please Bren I need you out of here to make things I want happen" "oh yeah, and what is it ye want that ye can't have while I'm in here Steven?" "I want a future, a happy one with you I want a new start for us both but most of all, most of all I want… I want a husband!" oh my god is that Steven saying he wants to marry, marry me? It's what I want more than anything but if this "plan" goes wrong I'll lose him forever, I'm torn stay here and have an elicit secret relationship with a prison guard or run, be on the run for life but be with the one I love for the rest of my days I enquire about his plan some more.

"so this plan, what is involved?" "well obviously the first part was to get in here to get the job and tell you, then I had a set of prison gate keys made which I will leave with you until the date we choose for it all to go down, on that day there will be a fire in the laundry room and amidst the chaos you will be dressed like me and you will be getting out of here, I'll have a car and driver waiting outside and there will be a fake ID and passport waiting for you at a place of my choice, where we will go to change your appearance before we get the hell out of England, so what do you think?"

"I think my boy is way smarter than the eejits around him give him credit for, you are so smart, do ye really want to marry me?" "more than anything in this world Bren so Brendan Bradeh will you marry me?" "yes Steven thought you'd never ask and Steven oi love ye, I'm proud of ye and yes ye have my permission get me out of here, please." "I love you too and I intend to, how's the drink? Brendan you've drank the whole bottle you pisshead" "oi was thirsty Steven and it kept me from jumping on ye didn't it well it did till now!" I'm doing this I'm getting out of here and I'm moving on with my husband to be wow that feels so strange Steven Brady, yeah I loike that it suits him, now the talking is done it's time to pounce "errrr Brendan yer licking me face you minger that's rank!" "ye don't mind me licking ye in other places Steven why should your face be any different maybe it feels left out when my tongue is all over ye" haha I love teasing Steven guaranteed he'll get hard in three two one ha told ye hello mini Steven come to daddy!


	4. Chapter 4

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 4

"Err Brendan why do you keep licking me you big germ?" "cos ye taste noice Steven, and I'm hungry" "eat me" "all good things come to those who wait Steven" "im so gonna work you hard Bren, you up to the challenge?" "Steven Hay, when have I not been up to that particular challenge?" "good point Mr Bradeh" "mmm say that again, please such a fucking turn on" "Mr Bradeh" "come here to me Steven Brady Hay to be, let me kiss those gorgeous lips". I love when Brendan Brady compliments me, it just makes me feel great, like, I am his, I belong to Brendan and he is the one who possesses me and every part of me, Brendan is the only one who's ever made me feel special or precious, like his entire world revolves around me the same way mine revolves around him.

I want to kiss him now so badly, in fact no, I want so much more, I want it all everything he has to give I'll take it and I'll give whatever he wants there is nothing I would deny Brendan and nothing he would ever deny me. I lean forward and take either side of his face in my hands and I kiss him gently at first but I will deepen the kiss when I feel ready this has got to be perfect because that's the way he wants it, he said he'd make up the fact we had to fuck in a laundry room the first time in a year so I'm going to let him.

I can't believe I'm here with my beautiful Steven, he's so desirable sitting there next to me with those long perfect lashes batting away, he kisses me and the world disappears all that's left is us, me and my Steven this is heaven, just staring into those bright lively eyes is heaven, I lean forward and lay him on my bed taking care of his head so he doesn't hit the wall it's a small bed, my hands wander to the top button of his shirt and well we both know its coming off, I pop the buttons slowly working my way down until his shirt is wide open and I can feast my hungry eyes on his naked flesh, I work my way back to his neck and lean down for a bite and a suck I love the sounds he makes as I play with him he's so alert, I feel his soft hand on the back of my neck pushing me further into him telling me he wants more, I slide down his body right to his belt and unbuckle it then I decide to get creative and pop his trouser button with my teeth and then unzip them, I wriggle down further and slowly remove them from his long legs. I'm at his feet now and I can sense he doesn't have a clue what I'm doing so I stick out my tongue and use the tip to lick from his ankle back up to his cock, I hang around his groin area for a while before he grabs my head and slams me down on his cock he says "fucking tease get on with it" as he slips into my mouth and I oblige what kind of husband to be would I be if I denied I obey I lick, suck, nibble and wrap my tongue around his rock hard cock and he loves it I hear him crying out "oh Bren, fuck yeah just like that, suck harder" and as I suck harder he moans louder I love it I love listening to the joy in his screams when he's close to the climax I love that it's my mouth making him come undone so badly, he comes all over my tongue and I swallow then come back up for more of those insatiable lips.

"Steven, what do ye want me to do to ye now?" "everything" "care to elaborate?" "nope, just do what you want with me Bren, anything, everything you want" "sounds very interesting Steven" "oh trust me it will be, I want your tongue in me, I want your fingers in me and then when I cant take anymore I want you to fuck me so hard I won't be able to stand" "I'm definitely up for that Steven lets go". I want so badly to fuck him right now just get in there and and give it to him so hard that he'll never forget it but he wants the whole package so who am I to let my boy down, I pull in between his legs and slide my hands up his stomach and lay my head down on his groin and kiss the creases of his thighs, he slips his hand down into my hair and strokes me lovingly this is how it feels to be loved we are in the centre of foreplay yet he still has his little signs to show affection and love, I move down to his arse and lick and bite his cheeks while he jumps and giggles above me, I move my tongue to his tight little hole and he moans with pleasure as I delve in deeper and deeper god I really want to fuck him now I don't think I've ever been so hard! I get back up and ask him to grab the lube from my cupboard, as he reaches in I notice the disapproving look on his face, I suddenly realise what it is that's bothering him, oh shit I completely forgot it was in there now comes the explanation.

"Steven, its, its just, I was in a dark place when they dragged you from me and I needed something to help, to just help me forget for a little while and be happy even if it was fake" "oh Brendan, how long have you been smoking this shit, I needed to forget too but I didn't start smoking dope!" "it's just a bit of weed Steven I needed it, what's the big deal?" "Brendan you are cautious of cough syrup, this is a drug, yeah it helps but its not real" "how would you know huh have you tried it lately this is good stuff Steven, don't knock it till you've tried it, want to have a go" "why, what's the big deal?" "it's good stuff Steven I'm just thinking a high fuck might be fun!" "fine if that what you want Bren, I'll try it". I get up and make a nice fat spliff for me and Steven, I quite like laying on his naked body so I smoke mine with my head laying on his stomach before I pass him his half I decide to kiss him with my last toke still in my mouth and when we are finished he coughs and I laugh, "having trouble handling that Steven?" "shut up I haven't done this in ages Brendan right!".

Steven seems to have a bad case of the giggles, I kiss him to try and shut him up but he just laughs in my mouth, I lean backwards to admire him and he smiles then reaches forward and strokes my moustache yes I can proudly say I have managed to get my husband to be well and truly stoned in a prison cell, my prison cell all alone just me and him all alone. "Haha Steven are ye stoned?" "well yeah I did just smoke weed I'd be worried if I wasn't stoned Brendun!" "cheeky little fucker ye need taught a lesson!" "oh yeah and what lesson would that be, taking Brendan Bradehs big cock up yer arse? Cos I like that lesson!" "fuck sake Steven ye are such a filthy bastard sometimes" "you love it Bradeh!" "yeah I guess oi do come here ye little minx ye!"

Steven may be a filthy little fucker but that's for me only nobody else sees this side of him, people out there think Steven Hay is some kind of little angel who's more than polite to everyone he meets well except John-Paul Mcqueen but that's for obvious reasons, to be fair he did catch me right after doing the deed with the guy no wonder he hates him if that had of been me I would of probably done a lot worse than flee the room I'd kick the shit out of the other man, I can't help it, he might not of been mine then but I wouldn't of been able to control my jealousy like he did.

I kiss my boy again this time I don't hold back my tongue is in his mouth the second he opens wider my hands all over his sexy little body and his all over mine he's scratching and biting in frustration I know he wants me to fuck him hard but I'm not done playing yet, he's a sneaky little fucker though his hands have wandered into my joggers and he's fisting me so hard I just want to go for it now but I can't I promised everything so I'm giving everything "Steven hands off!" I warn him, I look into his eyes and he looks sad and he's pouting "aww Steven you really don't like not getting your own way do you baby?" "no I just wanted to give something back you are doing all the work it's not fair" "fine give me your hands you sulky fucker" I take his hands and stuff them back down my joggers just to keep him happy while I explore him, I rub my fingers across his lips and slowly stick them in his warm wet mouth so he can lubricate them for me then I slip one down to his tight hole and slide it in I finger fuck him for a while while he ferociously wanks me off under my joggers, we both moan in unison as we go harder and I add another finger to his hole he's moaning so loud that I dominate his mouth again to keep the noise to a minimum.

I pull my fingers out now and lie back over him, I want to look into those big bright eyes when I'm doing him hard see them widen watch him as he looks at me in awe like I'm the best he's ever had like I'm the centre of his fucking universe, Steven looks at me like I'm a god and he doesn't realise to me he's the god. "I love ye Steven, I love ye so much" I just had to say it it's the perfect moment to sum up all of these feeling laying above him starring in his eyes the words come so easily so naturally, this is it this is the love of my life this is the chance I never thought I'd have this is my life.

Stevens hands are tugging my joggers down, he wants them off the boy is so determined to get me out of my pants he's a man possessed a man on a mission, finally they are off I feel so naked now as I take my own top off and throw it across the room, Steven's hands automatically attach themselves to my chest while his legs wrap around my sides and his hands pull me down to his mouth again and then wander back down to my arse as he tries to push me into him "Steven wait I'm not ready yet" "then get ready Bren I'm fucking gagging for you here right!" "ok boss sheesh ye are so impatient Steven" "yeah that's probably because you have been fucking me around for the last hour teasing me and not giving me what I want" "oh so that blow job before are ye saying ye didn't want that Steven cos me and my mouth will be very offended if that's what ye are saying" "no of course I wanted it and I enjoyed it I just mean I just want you to fuck me Brendan ok nice and hard and deep please" "I will if ye shut up and let me get on with it won't I steven the longer ye distract me the longer ye wait!"  
"Steven pass the lube then" Steven passes me the tube faster than fucking lightening strikes a tree, fuck my boy is desperate I coat my cock in the liquid and line up ready then the cheeky bastard grabs my arse and slams me into him, I look at him for a second to let him know I'm not amused he on the other hand is extremely pleased with himself big smarmy grin across his pretty boy face! I decide to torture him some more by not making any movements and just doing nothing but Steven well Steven aint stupid, he starts writhing beneath me pushing himself up and down on my cock I don't need to do anything the little sod has his own agenda I'm not having this, I'm king dingaling I make the rules so I pull out of him and slan back in again and start thrusting into him as hard as I can till I'm satisfied with the sounds coming from his filthy little mouth he's scratching my back so hard I could swear it's bleeding and he's biting my shoulder to quiet himself it hurts but I like it, I need to slow down just to catch my breath "Brendan what are you doing don't stop just fuck, fucking, fuck me hard and fast!" "Steven do ye want me to have a heart attack? No, then wait!" "are you ok" "I'm fine just find it hard to keep up with my 26 year old man don't I!" "do you want to stop?" "god no Steven just need to slow down, in fact if ye want to help why don't ye go on top for a bit yeah?"

I pull out of Steven and let him climb on top of me at least now I can just lie here and let my boy do some of the work he loves it on top anyways it's a win win situation, Steven eases his way onto me and starts straddling my cock while I hold his hips so I still have some of the control, he knows that's the way I like it, he gets faster and I can't help but moan out his name he's usually the first one to lose it but it's me this time round hes riding me hard and I am just about ready to blow my load into him "oh Steven fuck, just like that baby I'm gonna come!" "come for me Brendan I love you" as Steven declares his feeling he comes all over my stomach as he leans down to kiss me hard.

I'm laying here on my cell bed with my boy in my arms and just wishing time would fly so we could do this everyday in another place somewhere where we are free where I can walk down the street holding his hand where we don't have to worry about being caught for a little while it felt like we were already there now it's back to reality and I'm in prison and he is my guard my captor it's his job to keep me here right now, that must kill him inside. I need to get out of here as soon as we can just to spare my boy that agony.

"So, when is this brilliant plan of yours going into action Steven?" "as soon as I have some more people on board" "oh yeah and how are ye gonna so that, I can imagine I don't have many fans out there?" "I can be very persuasive when I want to be you know Bren!" "what the fuck do ye mean by that Steven ye not planning to fuck people onto our side are ye?" "err no Brendan I have other skills that don't involve getting fucked you know jealous arse!" "well yeah it is my job to be jealous Steven ye are moine!" " ok so when you were taken away from me I changed Bren, things happened since that toughened me up and people know now I'm not some push over" "so share it with me then Steven I want to know everything".


	5. Chapter 5

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 5

Hollyoaks villiage May 2013

I swear I saw him while I was talking to Doug in the deli, that Kevin, when I get my hands on him he's going to pay, all he had to do is defy Walker come and tell me or Brendan we were in danger and all of this could have been avoided it's his fault I'm all alone and Brendan is behind bars, it's his fault Amy came and took me kids away from me and Bren when we were just at our happiest and it's his fault Walker nearly killed me and Cheryl.

" I swear I saw that Kevin right Doug I'm not hallucinating he's out there, I'm going out there" "Ste don't, you will end up in there with Brendan is that what you want?" "you know what yeah maybe it is Doug, maybe I want to be in prison with the love of my life the only man who I've ever loved the only man who ever truly loved me, he doesn't deserve to be in there all alone." "Oi you come ere!" "look Ste I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I'm here to make up for it" "how can you ever make up for it Kevin right Brendan is gone Brendan is in prison and it's all down to you and that nutter Walker!" "Ste please I'll do anything please just don't hurt me I know I deserve it but I can't handle anymore beatings please." " Aww poor Kevin so hard done by! You have fucking destroyed my life, do you know how it feels to have the one person you've always loved torn away from you, to be dragged kicking and screaming like a child while they slap the cuffs on him and cart him off to prison for thirty years you have no idea what pain is Kevin! Pain is watching as a copper fires a bullet into the one you love and standing by and not being able to do anything about it." "but he didn't die Ste he survived, you should be thankful for that" "thankful? Fucking thankful come here you little bastard!"

I got a hold of Kevin I don't know what I was trying to achieve but it felt good being able to put my anger onto someone finally to blame someone for my grief and my loss, I felt pretty bad afterwards though and nothing changed just like Doug had warned me it didn't achieve anything kicking the shit out of Kevin Foster it just made me feel as bad as Walker, I'd watched as he found his feet when I was done with him he was crying wiping his face he looked at me as if he was still the one in the wrong and then ran away, I felt so ashamed of what I'd become. I'd blamed that kid for everything that was wrong in my life but really it wasn't all on him it was all about Brendan's family the abuse and a little bit to do with Walker and Kevin. I know Seamus would of done what he did sooner or later anyways with or without them the sick pervert I should have been the one to kill him after he tried to put his hands on my boyfriend his own child, his own son, the animal.

Present day

So this is me laying everything out for Brendan he wanted to know all of it so I tell him everything I did to Kevin and the shame I felt afterwards, although he doesn't look surprised at any of it, I don't think anything I do could put him off me after all I know hes killed five people and I feel no different about him, because I know it was necessary I know Brendan and he wouldn't of done those things without a good reason he was either protecting someone or he was taking revenge for wrongs they had done, I wanted to know though I had told him all of my shameful secrets now it was his turn to give me my answers. "Brendan" "hmm" "can you tell me, erm can you tell me about the murders please? I just want answers I want to understand will you tell me?" "do ye promise you'll still love me and ye won't judge me?" "of course, there is nothing you can tell me that will ever stop me from loving you Brendan and that's me quoting you cos remember that's what you said to me in the kitchen before you ran away from me" "yeah I remember Steven and I meant it. Ok. I'll tell ye."

Well ye know about Danny Houston, I didn't come easily though and he was the first, it wasn't a past time of moine killing people and I didn't enjoy it after Danny for a while I sickened myself because of what I did and believe me it all came rushing back when the girls were all getting murdered, I nearly confessed to Ethan during questioning for Rebecca's murder.

The next one was Michael, Mick, he was young Joel's stepfather, he abused Joel for a long time before he came looking for his real da, and I just couldn't let it go, I swear we weren't planning on killing him, we were just trying to scare him, ye know teach him a lesson for what he did to Scottish Foxy, we took him in the village, tied him up and gagged him in the club and then threw him in the boot of moi car and took him off to Southport with us. Chez needed me for something so oi left Mick with Joel and a hammer and when oi came back Mick had battered Joel and put him and moi boot and ran, after that. Michael had taken joel's phone and he lured Theresa into meeting him and he hurt her Steven, he hurt that wee girl so we caught him again and this time we meant business we took him to a lighthouse and we hung him over the side of a fence, we were just trying to teach him a lesson but when we pulled him back up, he grabbed me and Joel pushed him off me and he fell, he fell right over the side and about 30 feet down to the ground. Joel was scared he ran and I didn't know what to do so I disposed of his body and dismembered him so if he was ever found, they would have trouble identifying him but, when I cut him up Cheryl walked in and that's why she wouldn't talk to me after the explosion.

Nana Florence I'm sorry for, I just saw red, she was so fucking desperate to get me back to that bloody holiday home, and oi didn't understand why, I was up in moi old room and oi was plagued by memories of him, Seamus, and she came in and admitted we were there because, because she wanted me to burn it to the ground when she was gone, because she had known all that time she had known what my da had been doing to me there and she'd done nothing, she let him rape me her own grandson, I left the house, I couldn't be anywhere near her, I hated her moi life could have been so much different if she had just done something, oi could of loved ye and moi boys so much better if she had given me the chance. She followed me out and she begged moi forgiveness and oi just couldn't Steven, how could oi forgive that, she hugged me and I pulled her close and I don't even know if oi meant te or not but I hugged every breath out of her, oi hugged her to death Steven oi killed my nana!".

Brendan was crying I had to go over to him and hug him so he knew he wasn't alone that he'd always have me no matter what, I don't blame him for what he did, I know murder is wrong but I can't imagine the pain he felt when he found out his nana had let those awful things happen to him. "hey Bren its ok you know, I think no worse of you, I love you so much and I think you are strong and brave, for enduring the horrible childhood you were subjected to and for telling me all this stuff right now alright I'll never change my mind, you have your flaws and I have mine, I'm going to tell you something and if you love me as much as I love you it'll make no difference I just want to share it with you so here goes, I was a school kid, I was just starting to like Amy and I wanted to impress her so I stole this car and I piled all of Amy's mates in there was me, Amy, Michaela McQueen, Josh Ashworth and his mate Fletch and I was driving like a total idiot and in the end we crashed, I was so scared of what would happen and I saw Amy she was unconscious and I still ran and left her there.

" It's ok Steven ye were just a kid, we all do silly things when we are kids, ye are not a bad person though Steven not like me" "your not a bad person Brendun right you are a good man who did bad things for the right reasons and you have held your hands up to those things" "I'm not sorry for them all though Steven, I know oi should be but oi just cant be cos if I had let Danny live he could of hurt ye or worse and Walker, he could of killed ye twice I'm not sorry for his death but it was either him or me Steven." "exactly that was self defence Brendan you had no choice what happened there anyways?" "oi really don't think ye want details about Simon's death Steven oi wish to god oi hadn't witnessed it, it haunts me everyday, oi hated Simon but I'd much rather of seen him go to prison than the way he died cos nobody deserves to die like that Steven not even him".

I see tears in my fiancés eyes so I figure I'll step back from questioning him on Walkers death it was very obviously traumatic for Brendan, in fact I don't know why but I feel the need to ask him about Simon Walker, I just feel there was more to their friendship than met the eye, when he first appeared in the village Brendan was more than a bit fond of him, there was definitely something more than friendship between them, I'm not an idiot, Brendan was still hurt from Walkers death, and he could tell me it was just the way he died that bothered him but he's not fooling me. Was my man in love with Simon Walker and if I asked would he tell me the truth?

I lay at his side in silence for a minute and he senses my curiosity "what's on your mind Steven?" "hmm oh its nothing Bren" "if there's something bothering ye tell me please, no more secrets Steven" "you and Walker, what's the story, I mean what was he to you Brendan cos I know it wasn't just friendship, did you fuck him?" "jesus Steven don't hold back! Yeah, yeah I fucked him, I wont lie to ye, it was in the middle of the stuff in Southport" "he was there at your nans house?" "yeah he was there Steven, he made me think, he wanted me made me feel wanted, but it was all just a part of the game he was playing he was trying to make me fall in love with him so he could destroy me, he knew I craved the love, because I couldn't have the person I wanted, I couldn't have ye" "so Walker tricked you into falling for him?" "yeah Steven he did, so much so that I told him about what my da did, oi thought oi could trust him, oi thought maybe there was something special there and then oi found out who he really was." "what about before the trip away, was there something going on then, you were inseparable every time I looked out to the balcony for you he was there with a hand on you standing too close, it made me insane with jealousy" "ye looked for me back then?" "I never stopped looking for you Brendan it felt so wrong with me being with Doug but I had to see you everyday"

"the answer to your question is yes Steven there was something going on before I was playing games with him and flirting and there was a… there was a kiss.. I'm sorry Steven, being without ye was killing me I needed someone and Simon was just always there, but it was nothing like it is with ye I promise it was lust with you it was always love, I always loved ye." "fair enough" "no ye are mad now aren't ye" "no I'm not mad Bren I just hate the idea of his hands on you of you charming him saying stuff to him" "he was nothing like ye Steven, what do ye think I whisper sweet nothings to just anyone, that stuff is for ye and only ye I never said I love ye, I never even said I want ye to Simon, I never felt for him what I feel for ye, I showed him no romance he didn't get my love I promise ye Steven" "ok ok Bren lets just forget him yeah?" "wish oi could Steven he's always in moi head, his ending anyways" "I'm sorry Bren we'll just not mention it again yeah, I love you and it just makes me crazy knowing you've been with someone else" "how do ye think it felt watching ye with Douglas?" "not nice I'd imagine lets just agree not to mention exes again then ok?" "sounds good to me Steven".

Time is almost up we have half an hour left together in that time Brendan and I just lie together naked laughing and smiling talking about our future, Brendan asks me when we are going to be together outside and I don't have the answer to that question yet cos I still have one more thing to do and this isn't going to be easy, I need to convince Kevin Foster to be my get away driver, Kevin said he wanted to make it up to me and Brendan after what he had done the question was could I trust him after all of that and even if I could, could I trust myself to be anywhere near him and more importantly could I trust Brendan in a car with him for an hour until I got to the safe house or would Brendan beat the shit out of him on first viewing like I did? Only time would tell.


	6. Chapter 6

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 6

I hate to have to say it but the wing is going to be packed again soon, so I need to get up and reluctantly leave Brendan and contact Kevin for a chat, isn't this going to be fun! I've been dreading this since I decided he was the one to chose, he said he wanted to right his wrongs so he is my best bet. "right Bren I need to go now me, I hate leaving you" "oi understand Steven, it's ok, we will have all the time in the world soon, hopefully" "you certainly will Bren" "oh and Steven" "yeah?" "oi love ye" "love you too Bren, I'll see you tomorrow" I kiss my husband to be goodbye and I go to my locker, I take out my phone and send a text come to my place at 8pm tonight if you want to make it up to me and Brendan, Ste, recipient: Kevin foster.

God I am totally beat, if I didn't have to sort this I'd be going straight to bed, but this is so much more important than sleeping, I have to get Kevin onboard with me even if I have to play the nice Ste card, if I have to be his friend then I'll do it. I have about an hour till he comes round so I need to have tea and then wait for him, one thing I've noticed since I saw Brendan again is I'm hungry, I actually have an appetite for the first time in ages, that's good, I sit down to eat my cheese omelette, I will have something bigger later or maybe even when Kevin is here, yeah I could buy him tea, maybe get to know him a little if he agrees to do what I ask, hear him out at least let him explain his actions, maybe if this goes my way we could be mates, he seems so lost, maybe a friend is all he needs.

I hear a knock at my door, I get up to answer it but it's not Kevin, I don't know this guy but he looks rough, "alright, you Steven Hay?" "yeah that's me, what can I do for yer?" the young lad moves aside to reveal a pram with a baby in it "this here is Kyle, his mum gave him to me asked me to give him to you and gave me this note for you to read" after he handed me the note he turned to walk away "hey mate, you can't just dump a kid on me then leave!" "he aint my problem mate!" "WELL THANKS FOR NOTHING!" I shout as he walks away. I step over to the pram "who are you?" I mutter to the little man, he just looks up at me and gargles and smiles at me, he's an adorable little guy, big expressive eyes and long pretty lashes, he reminds me of someone I know "come on little guy, lets get you inside it's cold out here" I say as I wheel the pram into the flat. I set the pram up next to me in the sitting room and I open the envelope the young lad gave me.  
My mouth drops open the more I read, I can't believe it, this is my kid now, I have to take care of him, this certainly wasn't part of my plans and I don't know what the hell Brendan is going to think either, I don't think he was planning on having babies with me, on the count of us being men and having four between us already, but I can't hand him back not to her, not after what it says in the letter. Suddenly as myself and my thoughts sit alone there's a knock on my door, this time it's Kevin.

"so Ste, what do you want from me?" Kevin asks me, he doesn't waste any time does he, just straight to the point no pleasantries, "can I trust you Kevin?" "I told you I'd do anything for you and Brendan, I feel so bad for everything I have done Ste, I just need to make it better somehow, anything, I will do anything just promise you won't hurt me again" I walk to Kevin who is so obviously terrified to be in my company, and who could blame him after what I did? I lightly touch his shoulder and lead him to the sofa next to me "I promise I won't hurt you Kevin, and what I did to you right, it was wrong and I'm really sorry, I just needed someone to blame for Brendan I can't excuse it and I can't justify it but I can apologise" "it's me who should apologise Ste for everything, he was so in love with you you know I couldn't get close" "what do you mean" I ask "I mean, Walker's master plan was for me to seduce Brendan and I tried, believe me I tried so hard, I said one thing about you to put him off you and he grabbed me and slammed me into his desk told me if I said a word about you again I'd pay for it, he loved you Ste, I had no chance".

Wow I didn't know about that little incident "and Brendan didn't flirt or anything?" "not once Ste he made it clear there was only one person he was interested in around here and well it certainly wasn't me" Kevin stood up to reposition himself for a second, he looked rough and so skinny, he didn't look well and then he noticed our Kyle "you've got a son?" "well yeah I've got a son, but he's not mine, you know as well as I do mine went to live with Amy" " you know that was me? So is that what the beating was for? I guess I deserved it, there are no excuses for what I did to you, I understand why you hate me" " I don't hate you Kevin, I don't know you, I don't know your circumstances or your reasons, maybe if I did I don't know, I could maybe understand more?" " I'll tell you, if you want me to, I'll share my story, so who is the baby?" I tell Kevin, who Kyle is and he listens as I explain my past but now it's his turn.

"when Walker found me, we were both street rats, ya know homeless, he tried to pretend he was my mate, gained my trust and made me feel like he would do anything to protect me, he made me feel safe like a brother. He told me that he had cash stashed away somewhere, and we went to live in this dank unused petrol station, I hated it but, it was a roof over my head I guess, he'd talk on about Brendan and his brother, It was like he was obsessed on and on all the time about this one person and how he wanted to destroy him, and I swear Ste, all he shared is that Brendan murdered his brother, that he needed taught a lesson, he said he would pay me, but when the time came I had to do everything and anything he asked of me, and I just wasn't in a position to say no to the money, you know when you've lived alone in the streets for as long as I have you know an opportunity when it's there and you don't get fussy". " how long have you been on the streets for and how did you even get there?" I asked feeling pretty sorry for the kid " well I've been in the care system since I was 5 my mum didn't want me, just like that poor kid there, I don't know who my dad is, but care was just, well I had a different home each month, nobody ever wanted me, I was just passed around like an unwanted toy, so when I turned 14 I ran and I just lived on the streets alone, until Walker found me one night and offered me help."

I felt extremely sorry for Kevin now, going through life so lonely and so vulnerable, having nobody at all, he reminded me of myself a bit, just a chav who nobody cared about, loved, until Brendan changed my life, I find myself moving closer to Kevin and putting my arm around him, I don't know what possessed me, it's nothing sexual I just feel for him and I think if Brendan knew the details of his life he would too, "hey it's ok, you know Walker is gone and he can't hurt you now, I don't know if you are interested but if you want to turn your life around I can help, you could have a real chance now he's gone Kevin right, I know Doug my ex, he needs some help in the deli if you want a job?" "why would you do that for me, after everything I've done to you Ste?" "because you are sorry and you deserve a second chance, because, because…" "because you feel sorry for me?" "maybe a bit… and maybe you remind me of myself before Brendan saved me." "so what, you saying you're my Brendan?" "well yeah in the help sense Kev not any other way like sexual cos well I'm still in love wi Brendan me" "don't worry I was kidding Ste, and anyways despite what Walker made me do with Brendan, I'm straight, I like girls, well I like one girl in particular." "how about I get us some food and you can tell me all about her?" "you sure? I don't want to take advantage" "you aint Kevin I'm offering" "ok erm thank you" "no problem er what do you like to eat?" "me favourite is fish finger sandwiches" "I was thinking more along the lines of a pizza or Chinese?" "erm I've never had a Chinese before what can you get?" I get up and find the menus for my favourite takeaway, god this kid hasn't lived and fish finger sandwiches how old is he, I find myself asking "how old are you Kevin?" "I'm 19 Ste" what? He really is just a kid!

Just as I make the call for our food Kyle decides to cry, I turn to pick him up but he's no longer in his pram, he's up in young Kevin's arms looking into his eyes and grabbing his lips, exploring Kevin's face, "aww he's such a cute kid, he looks a bit like you Ste" "you think?" "yeah definitely in the eyes" "Brendan won't believe this when I tell him" "your still seeing him?" "yeah, that's kind of why I asked you over here Kevin, I need your help please" "anything" "I'm getting Brendan out of prison, it's hard to explain but I'm a guard in there and I have left him keys, I'm going to cause a disturbance, and get him out and I want you to pretend you are the handy man and get him outside in a car, I need you to help me, please?" "well, that's a lot to take on Ste" "I know, and I hope you don't think the talk and the food is to sweeten you up, I was planning on buttering you up to help, but it turns out you are actually nice, I like you, now I'm getting to know you, and it appears Kyle likes you too." " how do I get a car?" "I'll take care of the car I still have Brendan's, it's a silver merc, goes quite fast too, so are you in?" "I'm in" "don't feel you have to" "I said I'm in I want to Ste, I want to help, I know everything and I know Brendan shouldn't be in there".

Well, that was a lot easier than I expected, for the rest of the evening me and Kevin sit and eat and chat and I even find myself inviting him to hang out to watch a DVD with me, for once, I don't feel alone and it's nice, I ask him where he'll go when he leaves and he replies that he's going back to the petrol station, I have this empty flat to myself so I offer him a room, I ask him to stay, I can't let him go back there. I'll explain everything to Bren tomorrow.

I get up and go downstairs to find young Kevin is already up and playing with Kyle, after all I did allow him to sleep in with him when he asked, he's attached to Kevin for some reason, it's kind of cute. "Kev do you have plans today or?" "no, not really I never have plans why?" "would you like to look after Kyle while I go see Brendan, well when I go to work? I'll be out all day mind it'll be a while?" "I'd love to look after him, did you hear that little man we are spending all day together?" "you know what you are doing right?" "yeah one perk of foster care was all the younger ones I had to take care of at one home or other, do you have food and nappies for him?" "I don't have much eyar take this and go shopping, while you are out go and see Doug in the deli tell him Ste sent you and you won't have any problems" I hand Kevin a wad of 20 pound notes around sixty quid to be precise tell him he needs baby milk, nappies and some toys, he has plenty of clothes thanks to all of Lucas' old stuff and kiss Kyle and say bye to Kevin.

I wake up extremely giddy at the thought of seeing my Steven, this morning, sure enough he comes in as soon as he gets in, he looks troubles though, something is wrong, I'm worried so I ask what's up "something wrong Steven?" "you might say that Bren" Steven pulls out an envelope from up his sleeve and hands it to me, I open it and start to read.

Ste, it's mum, I'm so sorry for this, but I can't keep him, he aint terry's so don't worry he won't come looking, his name is kyle and he is your baby brother, I am an alky ste, I can't take care of a child just like I couldn't take care of you, I can't give him a life like you and your boyfriend could offer him, I know about you and the guy with the tashe word always gets back to me, he runs a club and you have the deli you can take care of Kyle now both of you, and I won't stand in your way because this is what I want, please love him like he's your own.

"umm…" I think for once in my life, I'm lost for words, I don't know what to say, I bargained for a husband when I got out of here, and since I can't get Steven pregnant, babies weren't on my to do list. "ummm where is he? The baby?" "well that's the thing Bren, stay calm ok, he's with Kevin" "WHAT! Kevin? Kevin Foster? The council rat?" "Brendan don't call him that, he's alright you know" "Steven, have you forgotten what he did? He ruined us" "yeah well now he's helping you Brendan" "what do ye mean helping?" "he's your driver Bren he's gonna get ya outta here" "the council… I mean Kevin, is going to drive me out of here?" "I've already suggested him to the boss as my mate who can come in and fix that dodgy washer downstairs" "is he your mate?" "well, I've been hanging out with him, so yeah maybe he is" "what do ye mean hanging out?" "as friends Brendan, don't worry the kid is straight and he's like 19 way too young I wouldn't go there why would I go there?" " why not I did, with ye I mean, ye were younger" "it's not about age Brendan, it's about you you idiot I love you don't I, I wouldn't look at him even if he was gay I've got you" "sorry Steven ye just know what I'm loike, I'm crazy about ye, ye make me crazy Steven we are gonna get through this ok, me and ye and Kyle, our boy our son, we are gonna get outta here and raise our son together if that's what ye want cos I love ye Steven".


	7. Chapter 7

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 7

" I don't know what I want Bren, I'm so confused, how do I bring up my brother as my own kid, for a start everyone knows I'm gay, so it's obvious he's not mine. Mitzeee knows I don't have a baby, she's seen me you know." " I dunno Steven we could just tell the truth I guess, tell people who he really is but treat him as our own? It's not like I've been in this situation before, but we can make it work, do ye have any photos of him, kyle I mean, if he's gonna be moine, I'd at least like to see him." "yeah, actually I took this one this morning before I came here" I show Brendan a photo of Kevin smiling holding Kyle in the kitchen this morning. "Steven, don't ye think Kevin looks a bit too attached to the kid?" "seriously Bren, enough of the jealousy, Kevin is ok, once you get to know him and it's Kyle who's attached himself if you must know, since the second Kevin appeared that baby has just been content" "how long has Kevin been around Steven?" "since last night" "what ye mean, he stayed over, at ours?" "oh for gods sake Brendan I gave him the spare room right cos he was gonna go back to that manky garage that you burnt to a crisp, I couldn't let him stay there, could I, and you know what if it wasn't for Kevin I wouldn't be here with you right now yeah, I'd of been at home, because I have a son to look after now thanks to me stupid mam, I have to do all of this on my own!" "hey, hey, ye are never gonna be on your own in this Steven, ye got me, I will take care of the both of ye always." "do you promise" "on moi life Steven, this is forever me and you and Kyle lets see the photo again" I take out the phone to show him Kyle again "he has your…" "my eyes yeah so I've heard" "it's the long lashes and blue colour, he's like a little Steven" "we could draw a tache on him then he'll look like the two of us" I laugh at my own joke, while Brendan looks at me disapprovingly "Steven, we are not drawing on our boy" "it were a joke Bren, I don't draw on children" "no ye don't but your leah on the other hand, she likes flicking paint in peoples faces!" "eh, when, when did she do that?" I look at Brendan trying not to be amused by what he had just said "ye remember the burst pipe in the school and I had to stay home with the kids, well I might of fell to sleep and left them with their paints and stuff out, I guess she did it while I was sleeping cos when I woke up, I lifted Lucas and looked in the mirror and I had a blue streak in my hair and on my forehead a bit of red on the opposite side too" "well she's creative our Leah maybe thought you could do with a bit of colour ha" "ye cheeky little.."

Brendan jumps on me and tickles my ribs and then kisses me, while he slips my mobile back into my shirt pocket, he leans in close to my ear, nibbles at the lobe and whispers "oi, I love ye" then nibbles some more "Bren everyone is around, we can't do the whole public display of affection I'm sorry, soon yeah" I lean to his ear and say quietly "guess what? I love you more" I have to go now though, actually look like I'm working and not just hanging out with the prisoners, well one in particular, "I have to go Bren I'll try and see you later" I give him a kiss goodbye, I know I shouldn't but I can't resist.

"alright Brendan" alex says to me as he walks into my cell "what can I do for yer al?" "did you see the new guard yesterday, what was his crack?" " erm just wanted to let me know, he's been allocated my personal officer" "he's big news around the wing that guy, I don't know what the big deal is but the other gay guys they are totally gagging for a piece, you not interested?" "no, of course not, why would I be? I have a boyfriend out there and he'll be waiting when I get out of here even if it does take 20 years." I have to try to at least make it sound convincing don't I, I was tempted to tell Alex everything, he's been my rock in here my only friend. "do you wanna like do something then B, I'm so bored?" "like what? We are in prison, not a fun house" "I dunno we could go and hang out outside for a bit it's a nice day" "fine, lets go outside then" we step out into the yard surrounding the prison Steven just happens to the the guard patrolling today, looking hot as the sun beams down on his face, and he keeps shooting over little smirks cheeky git, he's got no shame he's trying to turn me on out here and unfortunately it's working, he gestures to me with his head to go over and meet him down the side, there is a small area between the prison walls and the fence it looks quiet and there is nobody around I nod to indicate I get what he's asking and I'm up for it "erm I'm just going to the toilet Alex I'll be back soon yeah" "alright mate I'm just gonna go back in till you are back, go introduce myself to some of the new boys they brought in this morning"

Alex wanders off in the opposite direction to me, and I walk over to Steven who suddenly grabs me by my t shirt and slams me into the wall "Steven, weren't ye the one who said no public displays?" "yeah but it doesn't count if I'm in the mood" "when aint ye in the mood? Ye are constantly horny" "shurrrup and kiss me" "yep I can do that" I lean into his lips and give him what he's asking for, he rubs his thigh up against my cock and I moan from the sudden friction, this is really bad, we are completely exposed here, anyone could catch us, but it's so fucking dangerous it's quite the turn on and I just can't stop myself, I have to fuck him right here, for all to see and if someone was to walk around the corner right this minute they wouldn't just get an eyeful of Steven's pert little arse but they would know who he was and it would be game over, "Steven" I moan "we can't do this" I realise what we stand to lose if we are caught and although it kills me I have to say it "aww Bren, just, give me, a quick hand job" he says between kisses, this is so wrong, we are fucked if we are caught but my Steven wants something and I give him everything he wants, I quickly pop the button on his tight black trousers and slide the zip down, I slide my hand down his tight calvin boxers although I'm pretty sure they are my calvin boxers, little sod, and I start to grip him and give him slow strokes building up getting faster and faster until he's moaning too loud for me to allow so I put a hand over his mouth for him to chew on while I play with his earlobe with my tongue until he moans incoherently that he's gonna cum as he does I put my hand over his mouth again cos I know how vocal he can get in that precise moment, when he's done I put my hands either side of his face and kiss him passionately then whisper "soon".

As Steven is pulling up his trousers, I can't help watching in awe of him, how dangerous he's becoming, I can't help but love the naughtiness that has been creeping out of him since he came back to me, he's changed, and now, it seems there is such a passion in him to be bad and I can't help but find it extremely sexy I love my scally Steven.  
"fuck me, Steven, there is something dark and dangerous in ye lately" "no but there was yesterday Bren, you" "jesus Steven, do ye have to turn everything I say into a sexual innuendo?" "erm yeah I do" "no seriously where is the darkness coming from?" "I dunno Bren, I just think right, the cops shot you, you were abused for years and nothing was done about it and when you killed bad people to protect the ones you loved you got thrown in here for it, so what the fuck has the law ever done for us, now I don't know about you but I want to enjoy breaking it I wanna show those fuckers what I'm made of" "so basically ye are telling me ye want to be a criminal now?" "no I won't do bad things for no reason I'm not reckless, I just mean if I have to resort to less legal ways of dealing with things then it won't be a problem for me" "hmm spoken like a true chav Steven" "takes one to know one" he says as he tugs on my hood, fuck I knew he'd notice the clothing sooner or later, "speaking of which, are ye gonna dress like that when I'm out of here, cos I've gotta say Steven oi preferred the tracksuits, easier access!" "Perve" "takes one to know one sir likes to fuck in public places" "we didn't fuck remember" "so ye telling me ye wouldn't of then" "noooo I definitely would" "exactly, I'll see what I can do to make that particular dream come true when we are outa here".

"I've gotta go now Bren, Kevin just text, him and Kyle are waiting outside, said he just fancied a walk, needed to clear his head and well our little meeting here now has me in overtime I was meant to leave like half an hour ago" "go on get yourself off" "ha exactly what I was gonna suggest you do when you get back to your cell Brendan" "perve! love ye" "you love me perving, I love you too now be good" I kiss Steven goodbye and he walks off to meet Kevin.

"B where have you been? Fucking hell you look shagged out mate, what happened?" "oi wish" "what" "erm nothing Alex I've been umm running, outside" "err Brendan What is that on your hand have you been jerking off out there?" oh shit I hadn't even noticed Steven had blew his load all over my hand I dint have a clue how I'm going to get out of this one I either tell the truth or I lie and look like a weirdo who enjoys a good old public tug which apparently is my husband to be's little fetish, fuck it I'm going to tell a half truth "oi erm oi kind of have a thing for the new guard and he kept walking past me wiggling that sexy arse of his and well someone rose to the occasion and I had to deal with it" "oh B that was way too much information mate you could of simply said yes Alex I've been jerking off" "does it gross ye out when I talk about men like that?" "nah I'm totally open minded me, just I'm not used to it, you talking about anyone but your Steven really, what are you gonna do, you gonna seduce him? you've been here for a year now B you shouldn't go without that long, look I'm not an expert on romance but do you really think this Steven is out there being a good little boy and not touching anyone? You can't expect him to wait forever and he can't expect that from you either". Alex was a good boy and a good friend and I don't know why but I just couldn't lie to him anymore and the truth came spilling out "Alex, the new guard, he's Steven, he's my Steven, he got a job under his married name so he could see me again" Alex looked white like I'd just told him he has minutes to live "oh god so the stuff I was saying about the men wanting to have a go on him and about doing him myself if I was gay, I said that about your boyfriend? Sorry B!" Alex looked terrified "don't worry Al I'm not mad at ye, just please don't tell anyone, it's between us yeah? Ye are the only one I can trust in here, so I'm counting on ye to keep it quiet and Steven is moi fiancé now he asked me to marry him when I met him in the laundry room after wed you know" Alex looked grossed out again "ahhh too much info again B, don't worry your secret is way beyond safe with me, I thought you had a spring in your step since the new guard started now I know why! Fancy a drink? Celebrate?" "what ye got?" "everything, that fit nurse I've been seeing smuggles everything in for me" "ye got scotch?" "good man" I follow Alex to his cell, it's upstairs because Alex pretends he's a good boy and he gets a high privilege cell in return, we enter the cell and start the drinking, there is a knock on the door and when Alex opens it, I can't believe what, who I'm seeing, after all of the steps I took to keep him out of here and he still found his way in stupid boy! "Alex what is he doing in here?" he asks "nice to see ye too Scottish Foxy" "who said it was nice to see ye Brendan?" "oi see getting caught hasn't changed ye joel" "what you two know each other!?" Alex chips in "yeah Brendan here is the reason I had te run from my home and my girl isn't that right?" "it's complicated" I say looking away from both boys, I was sorry for what I had done to joel but he had pushed me to a point where I nearly broke my promise to Steven, he had to go I knew I had to get rid of him or I'd end up hurting my boy.

Oh no! what was I gonna do now? The second Joel claps eyes on Steven the game is up, he wont keep his mouth shut, he'll give me the payback I deserve by ruining us. I need to tell Steven to get this plan up and running as fast as we can preferably before Joel sees him here.

I meet Kevin and picked him and Kyle up by the gates and he gives me a huge hug right in front of that moron James, who stands across from us looking disgusted "what was that for?" "for all of your help, Doug gave me the job after a bit of persuasion, I think this little cutie helped Doug was smitten with him" "yeah Doug loves kids, he step fathered mine and now he has Matthew with his current boyfriend" "aww cute, I wish I had kids" "you are still young Kev you will one day" "yeah I guess I just hope they are mine and Maxine's" "Maxine, as in Maxine Minniver?" "yeah that's the girl I was talking about last night Ste I love her" "aww does she know?" "well I told her once, and she said I was the closest thing to a brother she had" "ahh nah mate you need to make it clear you don't want to be her brother, where you are now that's the friend zone, you need to get out of there if you want more mate" "how?" "erm well I'm not the expert but when I wanted Brendan to pounce on me I did subtle little things like licking my lips in front of him and bending over so he could get a good look are you sure you want to hear all this?" "doesn't bother me Ste tell me?" "I'd lean close to him when we talked, smile coyly at him, stretch up so my top would pull up and he could check out naked skin, I'd sometimes brush up against him as I walked by and it would drive him crazy, I thought I had the upper hand in it all but I brushed past him in the club one day and then he told me there were crates that needed brought up from the cellar, so I went down to do it and he followed me, then locked me in and jumped on me so I'd definitely say what I did got him attention" "thanks mate I'll try that well except the cellar cos I don't work in there anymore do I" "with girls you've just gotta do the gentle caring stuff, take her out, treat her like a princess she'll love that. All girls do Rae and Amy did". "who were they?" "girlfriends, I was straight until Brendan helped me out of the closet, I'd been attracted to a boy before in juvie but I got out and went straight back to Amy and the kids, then Rae was my friend but Brendan couldn't handle who he was he didn't want people to know so he told me to get wi Rae, I muddled on with her for a while but then my feelings for him just kept getting stronger and stronger and I couldn't stay away or deny him anymore?" "what happened then?" "can we talk about something else please" I didn't mean to be so cold but I couldn't talk about Rae with Brendan so I definitely couldn't open up to Kevin about her could I it wouldn't be fair on Bren.

We sit in silence for a while, as I ponder my thoughts the words just come out "Kevin" "hmm?" "Rae was murdered" "murdered? Mate I'm so sorry" "Brendan did time for her murder well hers and his ex girlfriend India and Doug's ex Rebecca's aswell, he did three months, and the whole time he was bruised and battered in prison and the worst thing is, he hadn't even killed them he was set up, the real murderer, well he was after a girl who was like a sister to Brendan Lynsey and because Bren tried to protect her, Silas must of killed Rae and put her in the boot of Brendan's car and then after he had rang the cops he called her mobile so the police would catch Brendan with Rae as he looked for the phone" "three months inside for something you didn't do that's harsh mate" "yeah and the worst thing was, and don't worry I'm ashamed of it but I thought Brendan was guilty. There were certain things happened before Rae's death she accidentally outed Brendan to his eldest son and Brendan publicly threatened to kill her for it". "is that why you didn't want to tell me? Where you scared I would judge you for thinking he'd done it?" "a bit yeah, but mostly I just find it hard talking about her, I wasn't in love with her but I loved her, kind of like a sister she was my best mate and she was gorgeous and understanding and only 19 when he killed her, she'd had her whole life ahead of her, and some animal took it away".

"but you and Brendan, you found your way back to each other, even after all of that? That means you were meant to be, did you tell him about Kyle? What did he say?" "yeah he wants to raise him with me, he wants him to be ours like our son, obviously we will tell people who he really is but to us he's our boy mine and Brendan's" "that's so sweet your own little family again" "there's just one problem Kevin" "yeah what is it?" "well to be honest with you, I quite like you being around and Kyle likes you being around, I want you to come away with me and Kyle and Brendan". I don't know what possessed me but I just want to protect this boy, I can't bare the thought of leaving him behind alone I know I barely know him and it's crazy but I feel protective over him like it's my duty to keep him safe, what the hell was going on, I couldn't be falling in love with him, I just couldn't I love Brendan and that was never changing, I'd never felt like this about anyone other than Bren I don't understand it, it's my feeling and I didn't understand but one thing was for certain I wasn't leaving Kevin on his own again no way, Brendan would either like it or lump it he's always going on about how he longs to please me and give me what I want well this is what I want me and Brendan and Kyle and Kevin? But why? Is this the daddy vibe am I fathering him, is he like a brother? I just don't know maybe I just feel like he needs me!


	8. Chapter 8

warning some homophobic abuse in this chapter

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 8

"oh my god Kevin this is so wrong, but it feels so right" "we don't have to keep doing… this if you're not comfortable" "no I'm comfortable it's just, you know it's just what if?" "what?".

The door flies open and god damn it I really didn't need to witness Kevin with Maxine Minniver wrapped around him against my kitchen counter, well he definitely wasn't lying when he said he liked the girls, Brendan would love this, for a few seconds I stand, hand clasped over my face I don't know who is more embarrassed myself, Kevin or Maxine.

"oh my god Ste I'm so sorry mate, I didn't expect you back yet" Poor guy looks mortified, I remember when Joel caught me and Brendan in the club I wanted to disappear "erm I'm just gonna check in on our Kyle while you guys sort yourselves out" I walk out of the room trying to hide my laughter at Kevin's face when I caught them cos right, that was pure horror if ever I saw it.

There's a knock on the bedroom door, "is it alright if I come in?" "yeah Kevin come on in" "I'm sorry you saw that Ste, and in your kitchen, it was really disrespectful of me in your home after you've taken me in and that" "it's fine Kev, I don't mind you having girls around, just not in my kitchen yeah and next time please give me a bit of warning, cos I really didn't need that image especially when… nah never mind you don't wanna know" "no no go on" "ok well the last time that kitchen counter saw some action it was…" "eww thanks Ste I get it, yeah I don't wish to hear details" "you sure?" I say with a laugh, something about me just really enjoys winding him up about me and Brendan's wild sexual experiences kind of like the annoying big brother he never had "so how was it today mate? With Brendan? How did he take it, you know about me?" " he wasn't too amused at first but that was mostly because he thought you were gay more than anything, I've explained how things are gonna go down and it's all good".

It's late so I say goodnight to Kevin and I go to my room, I lie on my bed thinking all these naughty thoughts and memories floating around in my head, memories of him fucking me hard all over this room, I honestly don't think there is a single area of this room that hasn't seen some action, the wardrobe I look at the wardrobe and remember me slamming him up against it and falling mercilessly to my knees to give him an amazing blow job, the bedside table, one night when he was feeling adventurous he decided to sit on it and asked me to sit on him, the walls, there isn't a single part of the wall his hasn't fucked me against, I feel my cock stirring in my pants as I lie here thinking about him and then I remember the photos and I can't help myself I have to look back at them.

**Hollyoaks village Christmas day 2012**

"Steven, Steven have ye fell asleep on me?" "no Bren I'm just all fucked out" "what after that!?" "yeah that where proper hardcore that" "hardcore? Ye think that was hardcore ye aint seen nothing yet boy" me and Brendan had literally been at it for hours when he came up from sorting the last secret presents out for the kids, and we had drank a full bottle of good Irish whisky between us so we were both pretty worse for ware but I was already well aware that Bren was far from done with me, "ye know we don't have many photos of us ye know together Steven" "naked ones!?" "and ye think I'm the nympho in this relationship! No I mean just photos Steven, photos of me cuddling ye of me kissing ye noice photos" "aww someone is going soft in his old age" "fuck off ye" and I really don't know what possessed me to say what I said next and nothing could ever prepare me for the answer I received either "ok well I'll give you some nice photos if you give me some naughty ones!" "naughty how?" he was intrigued, it wasn't going to be hard to get my own way "just some nice shots of you and me you know doing stuff and a few of you you know, naked" "for our eyes only yeah?" "of course, I'm not gonna show them off I'd have you nicked off me if people saw you you know like that" "and who's to say I'd go with them Steven I'm yours, and only yours and okay, as long as ye promise to keep them hidden in the wardrobe forever unless ye wanna use them for your own activities when I'm not around" "deal".

**Present day**

Ok so here I am lying on my bed with the photos, wow they really are hot, I don't like to blow my own whistle but me and Bren make a pretty sexy pairing, the pictures look almost like something you'd find in a porno magazine, I flick through them and come across one of Brendan leaning against our headboard almost naked wearing an open shirt and his crucifix dick in hand and pouting for me, right now all I can think about is how I can't wait to slip my hard cock between those lips and let him suck me hard, I involuntarily start touching myself as I close my eyes and think about him bending me over and fucking me hard and fast while I moan his name, I open my eyes and realise I'm furiously jerking off and moaning Brendan's name I feel like I'm almost there and I'm not wrong when I blow my seed all over my hand, fuck sake, I really have no control over myself even a thought of him makes me fuck myself, I reach down to pick up the first thing I can to clean up with I wipe up and then unfold the garment to find it's his favourite fucking hoody he is going to kill me, mind you it's not the first time that thing has been covered in my spunk, I close my eyes now and drift away to be with him in my dreams, I can't wait to see him tomorrow he won't know what hit him.

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As I enter his cell I see the huge grin on his face, he always looks forward to seeing me, he jumps off the bed to his feet fast and grabs me and takes my breath away, "dreamed of ye last night Steven" "oh yeah and what kind of dream was it Bren?" "x rated" he says with a naughty look in his eyes, as he throws me against the wall "Bren we can't someone might come in" "just humour me, just a few kisses Steven, please?" I can't ever say no to kissing him I feel his gorgeous lips against mine his tongue invading my mouth for a few minutes and then he nipples my bottom lip as he backs away from our kiss, "well that was a pleasant good morning if I do say so meself, Bren, I need to tell you something. I've done something, something naughty, I didn't mean to it was an accident" he looks worried, I shouldn't of made it sound so seedy especially with another man in the house shit I think I've upset him "what have ye done Steven, in fact no if it's something that'll break us oi don't want te know!" "oh god Bren no, I well all I've done is wiped me jizz on yer hoody" "eurgh Steven thanks for that, ye know it's moi favourite, and thank fuck oi thought it was something really bad Steven don't worry me like that again ye little sod" I'm sorry" "oi can't believe ye blew your load over my good hoody Steven, what were ye thinking of that got ye so… excited?" he's smirking, he knows exactly what was on my mind while I was touching myself "I was thinking of you weren't I and I got the Christmas pictures out and they well they made it worse I had to sort it out!" he's laughing at me cheeky bastard thinks this is right funny, he licks his lips I can tell the thought of me at home wanking over explicit photos of us has got him hot, "oh yeah THOSE photos oi miss them" "good job I've brought some for you then aint it" "ye got em on ye?" "yep but you aint getting them until I get a….?" "well? don't keep me in suspense here Steven what?" "I want you to get on yer knees and suck me off" "what now?" I get up to look through the cell window James is nowhere to be seen and the men are just doing their thing, hardly anyone has the guts to come into Brendan's cell, sometimes even the other guards knock before entering, after catching him in awkward moments, after he threatened to complain about them perving they thought they had better check he wasn't naked or anything before coming and in return he would be a good little prisoner and behave himself, "ye know if I do that, Steven it won't stop there, I'll end up making ye sit on my cock" "no not here Bren, come on you've got just enough time to get me off" "fuck sake Steven where ye born to be permanently horny or something?" "yeah, it's the effect you have on me".

Brendan falls to his knees and since we know this has to be fast he doesn't even drop my pants he just unzips me and rams me into his sexy dick sucking lips and sucks me while I hold the back of his head and pull him in closer so there isn't an inch of me he's not sucking on as I climax in his mouth I stroke through his hair in appreciation that will keep me going until I can ride him like a stallion.

"I love ye Steven don't ye forget that" he says as he stands to kiss me again "but please don't cover my clothes in your spunk, well when there not on me I mean" he smiles, "I have to go Bren work ya know" "yeah, oh Steven before I forget, we have a problem Scottish foxy has moved in he's upstairs little fucker" "Brendan I'll take care of it, I'll talk to him, I'll offer him a deal if I have to, don't worry I've got this" I kiss my man and leave.  
I head up to the next wing to try and speak to young Joel, I don't have a clue what I'm going to say I just hope I'll think of something smart all of a sudden I get pulled aside half way up the stairs, "Carter, what you doing?" it's smithy the prick "I'm going to see that the new inmates are settled and behaving themselves James" " you don't need to do that they're fine, I have a question for you, how does a man like you have two kids?" "man like me you've lost me?" "a poof, a queer whatever the hell you like to call it I know Carter I know you fuck men, it's vile, it's a sin against nature a sin against god" "god, what century do you live in yer not normal?" "I live in this one an YOU are the un normal one dirty queer" "just leave me alone or I'll report you!" "aww are you gonna cry poof go on and cry to your boyfriend I saw him here yesterday happy little family, you your kind makes me sick!" "I'm warning you leave me alone!" I go to walk away and then everything fades and I feel like I'm falling everything goes black.

I'm sitting in my cell with Alex listening to my motown CD, yes the boy is young but after hanging with me for a while he's developed a fondness for my music, he lies top to tail with me his stinky socks in my face "oim not gonna warn ye again Alex get em out out of my face" "no" he retorts looking rather amused with himself "get em out of moi face or I will tickle your feet" "erm let me think,,, no!" "do ye want the boys to hear ye scream loike a little girl?" "good point I'll move em" "thank ye" suddenly there is a massive crash outside and Alex leaps off the bed to look outside, he runs back to me pale as a ghost "whattsup caaaasper?" "Brendan ring the alarm on the cell just do something get their attention and fast" "Alex what is it?" he looks really shocked and worried so I jump up to see what has him so bothered and then I see him lying there motionless, my Steven, I set off every alarm I can find and run to his side, he has blood in his perfect hair and red marks on his face, what fuck happened? Did he fall? is he alive? All of these questions are spinning around in moi head how can it be that five minutes ago I was having a laugh with my only friend in here and now oim looking down at the love of my life lying looking dead in front of me.

James runs down the stairs fast and looks at me "what the hell did you do Brady?" "oi didn't do this oi found him like this!" I practically shout in his face fat homophobic bastard I hate him, "Alex is this true?" "yes sir Brendan was with me in his cell we heard a bang, I came to look and he was there like that" now the paramedics were here working on my boy in front of me, I long for nothing more than to just grab his hand and hold tight, it might be my last chance I can't even bare the thought, before I know it tears have begun to fall, I cover my face and shake my head so it looks like I'm just trying to register the shock, and I can only stand and watch as they take my boy away on a stretcher, he's all wrapped up warm so I can assume he's still alive but that appears to be the only comfort I can have right now, I walk slowly back to my cell and I can't believe what I see when I enter.

"what the fuck are ye doing in here Joel get out NOW!" I can't help but shout he's picked the perfect time to appear here but he looks just as shocked and horrified as Alex does right now so I decide to pull him back as he tries to leave "this had better be good Joel I'm having a bad day" "oh trust me Brendan you want te hear this" "hear… hear what?" "what do ye think happened out there Brendan?" "oi don't know, Steven fell oi guess? Why are ye so interested ?" "Ste didn't fall Brendan, he was pushed, I saw, I saw it all, he pushed him?" "who? Who pushed him?" someone deliberately hurt my boy! I wanted to smash up moi cell from the anger coursing through my veins right now "I can't Brendan I'm sorry I can't!" Joel runs past an open-mouthed Alex and out of my cell, I want to chase him, but I feel frozen to the spot, I can't move and I fall to moi knees at the side of moi bed, Alex steps up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder and then leans down beside me and pulls me tight into a hug, the boy is like another son to me and if anyone understands moi pain it's him he lost everybody he loved all in one go, he lost his mum, dad and sister in a fire, at first they had thought his brother would be ok but he died in hospital a week after the others. Alex knew what it was like to hurt, and right now he knew I was really hurting. "B? come on you have to get up B, we need to find out who did this? And fast" I compose myself ready to go up to Joel's cell, but as I go to leave Scottish Foxy is standing back in front of me.

"ye decided to do the right thing Joel?" "yeah, yeah I'll tell ya but ya have te promise ya won't tell anyone it was me, I've only got 3 months Brendan, I wanna do my time and get out to Theresa alright?" "alright, I can guarentee ye whoever did this won't hurt ye not after oim done with em was it another inmate?" "no Brendan, it was the guard, the big one with the tattoos, he was calling Ste some horrible names and they were standing in the middle of the stairs, he was saying how people like Ste shouldn't have kids and that they were sinners and I leaned in closer to the conversation cos I wasn't sure I was really seeing Ste Hay standing there, and that's when the guy pushed him to the bottom of the stairs" "and ye are sure it was James?" "yeah without a doubt Brendan I know I've lied to ya before but not now not about this, Ste did nothing to deserve this he asked the guy to leave him alone, what was he even doing on the stairs, he works down this block?" "he was coming to find ye Foxy" "me why?" "he, well we, we were scared if ye saw him, ye would tell the gov and stop us seeing each other" "why would I do that?" "cos of me, cos of what I did te ye Joel, oi ruined your loife, oi thought you'd come for payback" "payback aint my style Brendan, I told ya I just wanna do my time and go home" Joel leaves my cell after looking around to make sure he wasn't being watched.

"B? did you get all of that mate?" "yeah, yeah oi did Alex" "so what's the play what we gonna do?" "nothing" "nothing! Are you kidding me right now Brendan, that cunt has just nearly killed your fiancé what the FUCK is wrong with YOU!" "nothing wrong with me kid, he'll get his, just not yet, I'll strike when he least expects it, don't worry mate this is far from over".

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**Two weeks later**

It's visitors day today and I've approved two visiting orders so I'm getting two today, moi beautiful Chez and Anne, I go to my table to await them all the while all I can think about is Steven, I've tried asking around about him and nobody will tell me anything, I hope my girls can tell me something, anything to get me through, I just need to know he's ok.

My first visitor comes in and its lovely Anne, "Brendan, hiya sweetie" "hi Anne how are ye darling?" "I'm not here for me Brendan, I mean I'm not here to talk about me" "makes a change" she nudges me and smiles "what do ye want then?" "I'm here cos of Ste Brendan, I came over the second Cheryl called me" "where are ye staying though Anne your place is long gone?" "I'm staying at Ste's with the boys Brendan, you know your surrogate son and Ste's little protégé" "ah yeah, Kevin, is he behaving himself?" "well I wasn't too amused when Ste told me he was living with him, but honestly the kid is amazing, he barely leaves Ste's side and when he does it's to look after Kyle, he didn't want him hanging around the hospital too much ya know seeing his big brother like… that." "like what?" "well you know the way Ste was at first" she looks at me sympathetically when she realises I don't have a clue about Steven's condition "he was in a coma for the first week, I thought someone would of told you, I knew Kevin couldn't come in cos of the plan" "hold on Anne, ye know about that?" "yeah of course, why else do you think Ste told you you would be coming over to me, if I didn't know I think I'd be pretty shocked when my convicted best friend shows up at my door I'm in on it" she's whispering so nobody can hear what she's saying.

"so how is Steven now Anne? " "he's awake, and won't stop yapping on about you, he told us to come and see you, he didn't want you to be on your own, he says he loves you and I have to say it from him at least 3 times like he does when you are together, but he says he's sorry for being so clumsy, falling, he doesn't remember what happened" "he didn't fall" she looks shocked "he was pushed Anne" "by who? Who would want to hurt Ste?" "can't tell ye but it's in hand and he will pay for it". "I'm gonna get going Brendan give Cheryl her turn before I take up all the time I love you and Ste loves you times two stay strong" Anne touches my clasped hands before getting up and leaving me.

Cheryl enters next "god Chez ye look rough" "hi Bren" Cheryl usually looks her best but she is pale, thin and looks so stressed "ye ok sis?" "no Bren, I can't do this anymore, I can't lie, I want te tell the truth about daddy" "no Chez ye can't, I told them it was me so ye could go and have a life" "I don't have a life Bren I can't feel anything not with ye locked away for a crime ye didn't commit" "and others I did commit mick, nana, walker, danny" "ye didn't kill mick Bren!" "yeah I did Chez I dropped him off a lighthouse" "but he wasn't dead, didn't they tell ye love, Walker, left a note for his dad, he said he killed mick he just led ye to believe ye did it, he was alive in the boot Walker suffocated him so ye could go down for murder, the lawyer Jim he said he'd tell ye" "ooops oi refused him, I told him not to see me again, oi figured it was pointless" "ye need to talk to Jim babe, he's got a lot of interesting theories to put to ye he said he might be able to get ye out of here by next year" "how the hell is that ever gonna happen Chez I confessed to murder" "we are done here, Chez just go and be with Steven and don't worry about me ok things have a way of sorting themselves out" "what does that mean Bren?" "nothing Chez just go!" "I'm not leaving this table till ye tell me what ye are up te" "fine, I'm going te escape, I'm not telling ye how or when just know oi will be a free man soon Chez and we can both move on with our lives free, and oim gonna marry Ste, oh and Chez, the baby, he's me and Steven's we are gonna be a happy family living happily ever after like a fairytale don't worry I love ye tell Steven I love him too please sis".

Chez stands to leave hisses me on the cheek and then I'm escorted back to my cell, I feel so lost without him, two weeks on from the attack trying my best not to murder that fucker when he shoots me a fake smile across the yard, I just feel like launching myself at him but I remember in my head soon he will get his.


	9. Chapter 9

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 9

A month from the accident

So it's my first day back at work today, I'm healing well 4 broken ribs, a sprained arm and some head trauma, which, I know sounds bad but it could have been so much worse, I guess that's what happens when you aint careful walking up metal stairs, I can't even remember anything from the accident the last thing I remember was kissing Brendan goodbye, thankfully I remember Bren and everything we have said and done since I went back to him, I mean seriously how could I ever forget him? "Kevin! Kev!" where the fuck is that kid now, I swear he needs a bell round his neck so I can find him when he disappears, he's like where's Wally in trackies and a hoodie! "Kevin, get your skinny arse over here!" God I sound like his dad "what?" "I'm going to work now, are you sure it's ok with Doug to take Kyle to work with you?" "yeah he loves kids, he's always got Matthew around in the" "aye spose are we definitely on for tonight? Are you sure about this Kevin?" "yeah I told you I'm in Ste" " I don't want you to feel forced into it though Kevin right, I want Brendan out of there but you don't have to help" "I want him out of there too, for you Ste, you deserve to be happy, I want to give you back what I helped to take from you" "if you are sure? Then I'll call you when it's time, I'll see you later Kev" "catch you later mate".

I pull up at the prison, I have butterflies cos I'm about to place my eyes on his gorgeous face again god how I've missed him, I go to see the gov as he left a message for me to go and see him as soon as I come back, can't say I have any idea what that is gonna be about but I'd better do as the boss says, "hi boss James said you wanted to see me" "yeah take a seat Steven" this seems serious the look on his face tells me something is worrying him "what's up sir?" "I want to speak to you about your relationship with Brendan Brady" oh fuck! This is it I'm fucked now, shit! "I don't know what you are talking about sir?" "my sources tell me that you and Brady seem to get along ok unlike our other guards he doesn't hate you and that's good enough for me" "I don't understand sir?" "lately Brady has been distant, definitely unlike himself, he won't eat, he paces his cell a lot, he will barely speak to the other prisoners even his close friend Alex, there have been worries that we may even have to put him onto suicide watch" wow, is this because I haven't been around? "I don't know what to say sir, what do you need me to do?" "I believe that since you started working here he was improving his behaviour was better, he was at ease around you maybe you could go and have a chat with him see if he will open up to you, I don't know talk, anything, the last thing I want is a prisoners suicide on my hands, especially when I could of done something to avoid it" "erm yeah I'll get straight onto that sir, now if you want, can I ask a favour though?" "go ahead" "can I be left alone with him, in his cell, he believe he doesn't pose a threat to me sir but if interrupted I fear he may clam up" "yeah on one condition Steven, you keep your radio on you at all times, and if there is any sign of trouble you call it in ok?" "yeah" I go to leave "oh and Steven" "yes sir?" "stay of the stairs there's a good lad" cocky bugger smiling away at me, he has a sarcastic sense of humour, but I know he's just making light of a bad situation so I smile back and nod, the boss is actually quite a nice guy.

I head to Brendan's call wondering what the hell kind of state I'll find him in, dreading seeing him upset, he's lying on the bed hands tucked under one side of his head snoring away, lazy git, I lean down and try to get his attention "brenduun, bren?" no luck, so I close the cell door and kneel down on his floor, I stare at his face for a while, so peaceful I should really leave him like that, but I just can't I lean in and kiss him lightly on the lips, he still doesn't awaken, I'm getting worried now it's not like Bren to stay asleep with my lips on him, I carefully push on his shoulder and he rolls over, and there it is, the culprit for Brendan's sudden sleepiness he's not sleeping his doped up, idiot, I pick up the spliff and sniff it fuck it's a strong one, he's majorly stoned.

"eh hem" this time I clear my throat directly into his ear, he stirs a little and rolls back over "brendun wake up you fucking stoner!" "noooooooo fuck off" it's so quiet I barely hear it but I DO hear it "brendun wake up" "erm nah no thanks sir not today" fine! I'll try my little tactic again now he's awake I lean over again and this time I bite his lip "oww Alex I like ye but I'm taken mate" he laughs, that's it I give up.

I start to walk out and I feel his hand grab me by my belt and drag me back to his bed, his eyes are wide open, looking into mine and he looks pretty amused "seriously Steven ye were just gonna give up and walk away?" "well yeah you wouldn't get up, I did try ya know" "I know ye did but" "but what Bren?" he pulls me into him spooning me and whispers seductively in my ear "try harder Steven" he licks my ear lobe the way he knows I like it "I've missed ye" "I've missed you too, you've lost weight Bren" I can feel it in his arms they are not as solid and as big as I remember, he hasn't been looking after himself while I've been away, he doesn't even look like he's been out of bed for days, he hasn't even gelled his hair the way he always does it's all flat and looks so different poor Bren "hmm I haven't been hungry I guess" I turn around and look him square in his beautiful eyes with a look of surprise on my face "you not hungry!" "I know strange huh?" "have you been ok baby?" "what do ye think Steven? I thought I'd lost ye again" I stroke his face and feel the moisture under his eye, he's crying! I've only ever witnessed Bren cry one time, in the kitchen drunk when his dad turned up, I've never seen him cry over me "hey, hey, I'm here Bren, I'm here and I'm ok, you are never gonna lose me ok, I will never leave you" "do ye remember anything?" "I remember everything before I went onto the stairs but I remember nothing about the fall, maybe I've blocked it from my memory, maybe one day I'll remember, maybe I won't" "maybe, it's better that ye don't Steven" "yeah maybe" "come here, give me a kiss, I proper one" I move in close and caress his lips with mine, he tastes rank thanks to his spliff but I don't mind I still stick my tongue in his mouth, then he stops "I thought ye said in moi cell was too risky Steven" "yeah it is, unless I've got permission off the boss to be alone with you, no. interruptions!" "and how may I ask did you manage to swing that one?" "he thinks you need somebody you get on with to talk to, a shoulder to cry on so to speak" Brendan is topless so I move down and kiss and bite his shoulder "more like a shoulder to bite on in your case Steven" "hmm shurrup" I stay lying on my side facing him, take his face in my hands and kiss him passionately again mesh of tongues and lips, I love his plump ripe lips even if they do taste of tobacco right now, I look into his eyes his pupils are huge so I know he's still stoned but I'm not going to argue with him over this while we are on the bed like this just us, together romanticising. I slip my hand down from his face to his sexy pierced nipple, I love playing with his nipple ring, it's like he gets some weird kick out of me pulling at it and hurting him he loves it, I prefer using my tongue on it, it turns him on big time, really gets him hot, I can tell he wants me to do that now duck my head down and nuzzle on his chest but I'm not going to, I have him alone in a cell for as long as I want, I'm going to take it slow and .time. I don't want to rush this, the other times I've had him in this prison I've been on borrowed time so now I'm taking full advantage of the situation, I continue with my light kissing then Brendan stops again "are ye ok, ye not hurting anywhere, I don't wanna hurt ye?" "I'm fine now Bren, all healed".

of course I'm lying but I'm not gonna tell him my ribs ache he would make me stop, screw that "stop stressing and just kiss me Bren" he presses his lips back on mine and I tongue him slow at first and then we fly into a passionate frenzy my hands sliding over every single part of his body my finger tips running over his skin delicately until they find their way into his boxers, fuck he's already hard, this isn't gonna be fun if Brendan is so horny he will blow before we have even got started! My hands slide back up to his chest but he reaches up takes them and puts them back down his pants, stubborn git, he starts sucking on my neck as I wrap my hand around his long length and start pumping it slowly, he moans into my neck "fuck I've missed ye Steven, I've missed this" "me too baby, I've had plenty of practice in bed alone for all these nights, well not at first obviously ha" "it's no laughing matter Steven" "Bren can we not talk about this right now" "right ye are" I pick up the pace wanking him off and he continues to moan into my neck it shoots right to my dick and I become instantly hard "ah fuck yeah Bren, say my name" I jerk him harder and faster "Ste, Ste, Steeeven" "ah that's it baby, I love hearing you moan my name, to know that your enjoying what I do to you" "oi do Steven, I really do ahhhh fuck me!" "did you just say" Bren clams up and goes tense "oi didn't say anything Steven, don't stop keep going" I stop and look him in the eyes, do you want me to?" "to what Steven?" "you know what you said Bren" "lets just play for now yeah, I'll tell ye what I want when we both need it". I'll admit, I've always been curious you know, to feel what it would be like to stick it into Brendan Brady but he's never asked me and more importantly I've never asked him because I know what his problem is, I know the only time he's been a bottom was when, when that animal did what he did to him and I respect that it would be really tough for him to just give himself over to me that way so I don't push it.

"What do ye want me to do to ye Steven?" "ummm hmm? I want you to put your tongue all over me" I know it might sound weird or gross even but I love it when he licks me, everywhere, he's amazing with his tongue it's a massive turn on, I feel like it's time to lose the clothes so I ask him to remove them "Brendan take my clothes off" "moi pleasure Steven" he slowly removes my shirt and then unbuckles my belt and sticks his fingers into my waist band to pull my chest up to his face and starts licking around my nipple then up to my neck, he licks all over my neck one side to the other and then ends up at the other nipple, he tongues it and then sucks it while he unzips me and slides my trousers past my arse I feel his tongue run from my nipple down the muscles in my stomach and then down my groin and over my dick, he starts to bite and suck on the inside of my thigh and fuck it's good I worry I might blow my load in his hair then he stops and pulls my trousers down further and discards them on the floor, he lifts my leg as far up as it will go and kisses from my foot to my cock as he finally lets me rest it on his shoulder, then he takes me in his mouth slow and firm and sucks me hard, god it's amazing I can't believe it soon we will be doing this every day whenever we fancy it, I can't wait to ride him and be able to scream his name as loud as I can, I can't wait to drive him crazy and let him do me harder than ever, he doesn't know but I know he holds back in here fair enough he still enjoys it every time but he's tame here, outside he's a beast he does me so hard I could literally scream a house down and he loves that.

Back to the now though and he's begging for it he's so desperate I can see it in his eyes while he's sucking on me he knows I'm close to losing control and filling his mouth and suddenly he stops "oi I was proper enjoying that, you not even gonna finish?" "nope I need ye hard" "why?" and then it dawns on me! Nah it's not possible, there is no way he wants.. That, no way "why d ye think Steven, I want ye to do the hard work for a change" "you, you want me to… to" "do I need to spell it out for ye Steven?" "well yeah cos it can't be what I'm thinking right now" "Can't it? What are ye thinking Steven?" "that you want me to, you know" "no enlighten me?" "you want me to fuck you!" "well I was more thinking I would like ye to make love to me but if that's what ye wanna call it fine" "sorry, I'm just shocked, you've never offered before" "I didn't want to before, things change" "what changed?" "I changed Steven, I trust ye and I wanna give ye something no living person has ever experienced I want ye to make love to me so what do ye say?" "why though, why do you want me to do it?" "because I love ye, completely and ye love me, I've made love to ye now it's time to repay the favour" "okay but I promise I'll be proper gentle and if you don't like it just stop me, I'll understand, this is completely about you and what you are comfortable with ok Brendan?" "fair enough, I promise, so is that a yes?" "yeah Brendan Brady if you want me to prove my love to you then yes I'll do it".

I take my time preparing him I lie him on his front and straddle the back of his thighs leaning over him to kiss the back of his neck I start there and kiss down his spine until I shuffle down his legs to reach his arse easier I lean in and start with small licks all the while stroking my hand along his hip down his thigh, then I stick my tongue in closer to his hole "come on Steven I'm ready" he's so impatient, he can never wait for anything I stick my tongue in further and he starts moaning it's encouraging, I lick him hard for a while until he starts panting then I stop, he is enjoying it too much I don't want him to come from this I hope he will come from the intense, romantic and smooth sex we have planned, I kneel up on my knees and slide my hand around his stomach as I slip up his back and pull his head to the side so he is facing me, I kiss him again slow and soft then I hook two fingers into his mouth and tell him to "suck em, soak them" and I slip my hand back down to his arse, and continue kissing him as I feel for his hole, I slip one finger in and he instantly clams up and tenses on me so I run the hand from his stomach up to his nipples and pleasure them with my finger and he opens up to me willingly then relaxes, he starts begging me to stick it in harder so I know it's time to slip the other up I kiss him again for a slow minute it feels more like five but who's counting then I slide my head down his arm and kiss the large tattoo of a crucifix that sits perfectly on his upper arm then I kiss down the large muscle there and pull my fingers out of him, "how do you want to you know lay?" "I want to be able to look into those big blue eyes of yours, I want to stay with ye know ye are keeping me safe with ye" that's probably the most honest he's ever been, I've never seen him so totally vulnerable, so I'm going to make this experience perfect for him "you got lube?" he passes me the tube from the side of the bed, I'm not going to use protection cos well we decided we was past that didn't we "do you want to lube me up?" "yeah pass it here" he says smiling, he is actually looking forward to this, I hope I can be good for him, I never really satisfied Doug or if I did he didn't show signs like I do with Bren, he reaches out and grabs my cock in his lubed hands and rubs it on momentarily wanking me off in the process sneaky fucker, "are you sure Bren" "ahh for the last time yes, oi want ye like this Steven oi need ye to please"

I line up and push into him slowly his legs are loose at my sides and he tightens them as I enter him I stop give it a few seconds and then push in further, he's scrunching his face, I remember how it hurt the first time I let him do it to me, I lean forward and whisper in his ear "breathe through it, it'll be worth it I promise, I'll give you all I can" and I stroke his cheek as I push in the last inch he squirms a little until he's comfortable and then loosens his legs again and slides one carefully over my back "ready?" I ask "ready" he replies, I hold either side of his face as I lean on my elbows either side of his head and I kiss him slowly as I begin to thrust into him as gentle as I can, I keep giving his cheeks the odd stroke as I thrust to keep him with me, the softest touches to show this is nothing like his past experiences this is my love and devotion to him and I have to give him small reminders of that to keep him with me to stop him drifting away into a nightmare to keep him from reliving it, "do ye know how much I love ye?" "got a pretty good idea baby" I reply "no I mean I really love ye, I can't breathe without ye Steven, ye are the beat of my heart, you are the missing part of my soul" "aww I love you too Bren you are my everything and my all" at that moment he slides this loose leg around my back and locks his ankles then pushes himself so I push harder into him "Bren, ya don't have to take it hard we can just go slow" "nah Steven well save that shit for the wedding night I want you to give me what I give ye, that pleasure that makes ye scream I want that from ye" "don't think I'm big enough to elicit such screams from ya Bren" "trust me Steven ye are more than man enough for me" "really" "really, there's nothing wrong with ye or your length your good, not that I'm an expert" I give him what he want and pick up a pace not too hard or too fast but enough for him to start moaning, I like that I get off on the fact I'm giving him such pleasure.

"oh, oh my god Steven, ye are amazing, if ye could see yerself right now powerful so fucking manly" he pulls down my head and whispers in my ear "it turns me on" and I thrust harder and he starts to cry out louder "oh Steven, harder, please, I want ye to go harder" he's really getting into this "I can't Bren if you get any louder then the building will fall down that or the prison will definitely hear you" just put yer hand over my mouth I'll bite ye if I wanna scream, oi promise" "I'll do better than my hand you can have me neck bite all ya want" "okay Steven" I put my neck over his mouth and he kisses it several times then as I hammer into him he latches on it hurts but the main thing is that he's enjoying the amazing sexual experience I'M delivering, I'm quite proud of myself I didn't even think I would get moans out of him from this never mind fill him with sheer pleasure, he stops biting and catches my lips he whispers in my mouth "I think I'm gonna come soon Steven are ye close?" "I,I, I am Bren, together again?" "yeah I want ye to come with me" "okay" I say frantically running my hand up his thigh while he dominates my lips "steven I'm gonna" "yeah me too" "oh my fuck.. Fucking god" "oh Bren I love you sooo much".

I lie on top of him for a while our legs tangled tight together, one of his hands holding my back tight as if it'll never let me go and the other tussling hair on the side of my head, "that was perfect Steven, a perfect first time with my first and only love, ye" "well don't really know what to say to top that Bren but it was as perfect as my first time too and that was with the love of my life, this gorgeous, amazing, sexy angel who appeared from nowhere and turned my life around showed me what love really was" "hmm ye trying to make me jealous, where is this guy I can't be having completion" "you know him quite well actually, whenever you look in a mirror, he looks back at you" "is that right Steven?" I look him direct in the eyes and I say "yeah it is, and he is gonna be in my bed tonight riding me hard the way he likes to" he looks back at me surprised, "tonight?" "yeah tonight, anything you want to take with you?" "now that you mention it, they took a photo of me and Alex on an open day I want that" "a photo, of another bloke?" "why do ye make it sound so seedy Steven? Its Alex, he's not much older than Deccy and he's been like a son to me in here I want something to remember him by" "okay I'll try and find it" "I can't believe I get to sleep with ye in moi arms tonight, I enjoy this but I miss the closeness just laying with ye like this for hours, looking into yer eyes seeing this beautiful boy with Disney character lashes looking back at me, that is what it's all about not the sex, that's just a part of it".

"I don't want to get up of this bed" "we have te Steven mostly cos we are both covered in your bodily fluids, in fact I can sort it wait there" I watch him as he reaches down to pick up my shirt "brendun don't you dare" "haha Steven did ye think I'd forget? Revenge is sweet my lover!" "Brendan I swear right if you wipe your dick on my shirt" "what ye gonna do Steven?" "I'll ban you" "what do ye mean ban me?" "I'll sex ban ya" "haha you sex ban don't make me laugh Steven" he doubles up from laughter and then casually wipes his stomach and groin with my shirt "urgh brendun you are so immature!" "and ye love it Steven, bet ye if ye sniffed that shirt right now you'd get a hardon" "eww that rank that, such a charmer" "I charm your pants of ye" "yeah ya do fine you win" I pull him into a deep lingering kiss "soo are you gonna go out there and feed yourself now?" "ye know what all of a sudden I'm really hungry" "really? What a shocker!" as I'd redressing he leans over me kisses me again and I feel him slip and hand down my arse "what are you doing Bren?" "just taking something that belongs to me steven ah I knew it! Magpie" he's taken the spliff out of my pocket sly twat!

"Brendun we need to talk about this" "no we don't Steven" "we do, when I came in here earlier I bit ya lip and you thought I was that kid you hang with, you were so out of it Bren I didn't think I'd ever wake you up, you need to stop getting stoned all of the time! You can't carry on like this you are a dad now we both are" "yeah yeah yeah" please just think about giving it up for me, please?" "okay Steven" "right I've gotta go me get home and change my shirt thank you for that" "ye are most welcome Steven my pleasure" "no Bren I think you'll find it was our pleasure" "hmm I love it when ye go pervy on me Steven" "oh Bren you aint seen nuffink yet! Later!" "later baby, I love ye" " I love you too but for now you are coming with me to see the boss man" "why" "food Bren and we are going to tell him you are ok you are just missing your boyfriend but we've talked about it and now you feel better ok" "yeah fine come here" he kisses me again before we leave his cell and head up to see the boss, I knock on the door, "sir, I've got Brendan with me can we come in?" "Steven that was quick" "didn't feel like it" I mutter, shit that was meant to stay in my head "erm nothing sir just felt like we was chatting in there forever" "and did it help Brendan?" "yeah it did sir oi oi feel better now me and Mr Carter have had a chat it was good to get it all out" he says smirking in my direction dirty sod enough with the innuendos! "sir, Brendan said he might be able to manage some lunch is there anything he can have?" "the cook isn't in yet. I'm sorry Brendan, I'd get you something from the tuck shop but you need a real meal in ya lad" "I can cook sir, I do a bit at home for me mate and me son" "you want to cook Steven?" "I don't mind, and well in all truth sir Brendan really does need it" "excuse me standing right here thanks very much" "sorry Brendan but Mr Carter is right you are wasting away boy, go on then just this once and don't tell the other prisoners, don't wanna be accused of having favourites do I?"

I make my way to the kitchen and look in the fridges "what do ya fancy Bren?" ah fuck here it goes, I just walked right into that one didn't I! "the chef" "knew youd say something like that I mean food what food do you want?" "erm surprise me" I end up making him a fry up sausages, egg bacon and mushrooms he hoovers it up in record time and lets out a huge appreciative burp when he's done "pig" "better out than in Steven" "oh god, oh no!" he looks at me like he's alarmed "what, what is it?" "I just got a glimpse of our married life there dint I?" "for fucks sake steven I thought ye were being serious ye eejit" "I am being serious this is our future me making you ya tea you burping and me nagging ya for it" "yeah good point sounds perfect to me" "as long as ya help around the house I can live with it" "oh ye can can ye" "anything for you babe, look I've gotta go sort stuff out, keys are under you matress Kevin will be in the laundry room around half seven tonight as it's just getting dark, meet him there and he will give you your outfit and then direct you out while I create a distraction to cause chaos, this is it baby you and me back where we should be together forever" "I'm counting the minutes love ye see ye later" he smiles at me and his smile makes the world melt away, I head home to finalise everything there is so much to do.


	10. Chapter 10

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 10

I plod around my cell for hours just wishing the time would fly by, it feels like it's going so slowly I just want to be back in his arms, I know it has only been a few hours since he left but I crave the feel of his soft sweet lips and smooth skin, I want to look into his blue wide expressive eyes, hell I even want to hear that ridiculous donkey bray of his, I can't wait to be with him again just like we were before, happy and content in a relationship only this time we will be in a marriage, it sounds clichéd I know but the marriage has already begun we just need a ceremony to make it official. I pace the cell again thinking of the what ifs, I'm thinking about this perfect future ahead of us but what if something goes wrong? What if I get caught? What if Steven gets caught?! He is risking everything to be with me forever, he could get years for this, it feels unfair letting him risk it all but this is what he wants more than anything so I'll keep my mouth shut and keep my fear in the back of my mind.

I look at my watch, I'm not supposed to have it so it's tucked down my bed along with the prison keys, it is now seven o clock only half an hour till I have to go down and meet Kevin, I wander around the wing looking for Alex, I can't tell him about what is going to go down but I want to see him just one last time before I leave him here to do his time, but he is nowhere to be found. Strange Alex doesn't have many friends here he usually just hangs around waiting for me to ask him to come and hang out in my cell, I've been looking for quarter of a hour, I have to give up, I'm pretty upset I didn't get to say goodbye but I can't mess this up for me or Steven, I go to walk back to my cell and I see Steven walk towards me, "hey all sorted Bren" he whispers "yes" I simply whisper back.

I watch Steven, turn and head down to the laundry room, I leave it five minutes and follow, when I get there Kevin is messing with a washer, I'm assuming he's making it look like he's working on it "Kevin" I nod in his direction warily and he looks scared of me "I won't hurt ye Kevin, Steven has explained everything to me, we have some talking to do when I get out of here I want answers" "yeah ok Brendan, whatever you want, you know I've told Ste I'll do anything" "Steven" "what?" "his name it's Steven not Ste" "sorry" "it's ok, so what happens now?" steven comes closer to me "now you change into that uniform over there and you leave with Kevin Bren" "what? No, I thought ye were coming with us?" "not right now Bren, I have to do something to take the heat of you two don't I" "like what?" "you don't need to know now just go please, I'll see you soon, I love you" "love ye too, just be careful Steven I need ye intact" "I'm sure you do" he smirks at me as I turn to leave with Kevin, "Kevin" "mmm?" "what is he going to do?" "he's creating a diversion, we have to make this look like an accident" "make what look like an accident?" "the fire" "fire?!" "yeah I filled the washer with petrol all Ste has to do is light it and get back up to the wing then we all disappear and it looks like the washer blew up." "gotta say Kevin, moi boy is a smart one" "that he is Brendan" we approach the final gate to be unlocked before I see my car outside "is that moi baby Kevin" "it certainly is, you cant drive it though, in fact you are getting in the boot" "the boot really?" "sorry, the boss mans orders I'm afraid" "well I'm not one to say no to Steven Kevin you know me" "oh trust me I know" he mutters under his breath, I don't think I was supposed to hear that, "what, what do ye mean?" "lets just say after a few pints Ste likes to share some information I'd really rather not hear mate" "oh right" I think I might of turned a shade of beetroot, what has Steven shared exactly?

Kevin searches the area to check the coast is clear, there is nobody around, so he pops the boot and I climb in as he places a tool bag next to me, steven has thought of everything down to the last tiny detail and I'm pretty impressed "sorry about this mate" Kevin says as he looks at me uncomfortable wriggling in the boot "as soon as we are clear of chester I'll let you get in the seats ok?" "it's fine Kevin as long as I get out of here don't worry about me" Kevin slams down the boot and I hear him hiding the keys and getting into my Merc, the engine starts and the car moves, and then stops, I hear Kevin talking to someone and then we are moving again, after five minutes I hear Kevin cheer "weve done it Brendan, we are out you are free" he shouts, so that's it I'm free now I just have to hope and pray Steven pulled it off.

**Stevens pov**

I leave Brendan in Kevin's hands now and watch him leave me for the last time in this dump, I pull out a rejected visiting order I'd sent Brendan, it seems appropriate, I pull out my lighter and I stuff the paper into the washers drawer, I look around for anyone watching me and I light the paper then leave, I head back to the wing and as I hear a loud bang I smash the nearest fire alarm and listen as chaos insues. I get back to the wing and I approach one of the guards I don't know to well yet, "what's going in?" "I don't know mate but it sounds real, this aint a drill" the cockney replies "Steve isn't it?" "he says "yeah well Steven" "okay Steven I need you to keep calm, for me yeah and get these men to safety, you know where to go right?" "yeah I remember the safety talk" "right get them to the assembly points?" "what about you?" "I need to find some prisoners, we have at least two missing" "missing?" "yeah Brendan Brady and Alex are both missing, knowing them, down in the laundry hiding with their fags so they don't have to share, I'll have to go down and look" Shit, Alex goes down there, but I didn't see him, surely if he was around he would of made sure I knew he was there, wouldn't he he's a smart kid.

I have to get the men to safety so I do as I am told as the other guard backs away from me and turns to walk away, "right boys come on I need you to be calm for me and get your arses out of here please" I shout as the chaos continues "COME ON LADS THIS IS NO DRILL! Get out of the building!" they listen to me this time and they follow as I lead unlocking gates until we get to a fire door I try and push the bar but it's too stiff, I look around the crowd for the butchest looking prisoners "right Lee and Paul come here please" the two I have closen are brothers and with one wither side of you they look like security "what sir" paul asks "well here's a fun task for you boys boot it" I say nodding my head towards the door, they look at me and then the three of us kick the door, I know I'm scrawny but my boots are heavy they felt like they could do some damage, the bar loosens and I push it to open the door, thank fuck fresh air, "thanks boys, I'll see to it that the gov knows about what you've just done" I say as Paul and Lee rejoin the others we walk far over the car park towards the fencing and there is another huge bang, I guess that was another washer, Kevin did exactly what I asked good boy.

I make my way across to Joel when I spot him leaning on the fence "alright kid?" "no no really Ste Brendan and Alex were down there!" he says covering his face with his hands franticly pacing like crazy, "in the laundry room? How do you know?" I reply pretending to look worried "Alex couldn't find Brendan, so he went down there cos he said that where he always is when he cant find him, usually getting stoned in peace so he doesn't have to share his stuff" "you are sure he went down there?" "yeah I watched him myself Ste, I didn't see Brendan though, oh my god Ste what if they are dead?!" what have I done! I know Brendan wasn't there but Alex, I just don't know he could have been hiding I guess, he could have been off his face too out of it to notice what was going on, as I touch Joel's shoulder to try and reassure him I see the young officer head towards me again.

"hi" he looks shocked "what happened?" I ask, "I got down there, I looked through the door there was a lot of smoke and all I could see was feet, there was definitely somebody there Steven, I couldn't see who and as I went to step in there was another explosion and I bounded back into a wall, we need to notify the boys families" "Alex didn't have a family" I say "Brendan was his family" "what about Brendan?" "he has a sister and two sons" I reply "erm he told me this morning, the boss asked me to have a friendly chat with him" "well we need to contact the sister" I hadn't thought this through, how could I do this to Cheryl, she is my best friend, how can I lie to her that her brother could be dead, when I know for certain that he isn't? I have to do it don't I? It's not like I have a choice, I've got to lie and make it convincing I have to destroy my best friend.

I walk over to the governor and let him know what I've been told "sir, Brady and his little buddy were in the laundry, the guard over there he saw them, well he saw feet of at least one of them, we need to notify Brady's sister." "we can't notify anybody until the police have given us the go ahead young Steven" "ah right and how long will that take" "not until the fire is out and the building is safe" "but wont the bodies be, you know unidentifiable?" "it's possible young lad we can't rule anything out yet" I can't believe I've just used bodies in a sentence, this was supposed to be an easy job, nobody gets hurt the goal to get Brendan out of here safely, it was supposed to be simple and now I'm a murderer, I've killed someone who meant something to the man I love, he will never forgive me, suddenly I feel a stirring in my stomach, I can't do anything to stop myself I run away from the other men and throw up by the fence, I feel a hand on my shoulder, I turn and it's the sweet young guard from before "are you alright mate?" "yeah yeah I'm fine it's just the smoke innit" "are you sure?" I go to reply but I feel the same feeling in my gut and throw up again "I think you need checked over mate" before I can stop him he waves over the prison nurse she's a pretty Geordie girl probably in her twenties like me "are ya alreet pet?" she asks "yeah it's just the smoke, it's making me a bit sick innit, look there are men in shock, they need you I don't I just need to go lie down" "I suggest ya go home pet enough action for the day I think".

I head over to the boss "sir, the nurse reckons I should go home, I'm sorry I'm no use to you here I can't stand the smell of smoke it just makes me sick" "it's fine young man you have done more than enough, you got these men to safety you get yourself home to bed" "erm can you let me know when you find out about Brendan and Alex please, I thought I was getting somewhere with Brendan this morning I want to know, and Alex, well he's just a likeable kid in he "yeah he is, they both are, were, deep down" "yeah sir I'll see you tomorrow" but I know I won't, this is it, once I leave, I am not coming back, I've got what I wanted there is nothing here for me anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 11

I unbutton my top shirt buttons cos I feel like I can't breathe, and I unlock my car and get in, start it up and leave. I take one last look at the place and say to myself "I'm so sorry kid" I drive home, all the while thinking about him, envisaging his face and I break down, this isn't how it was meant to be I have just killed someone, I feel sick to the stomach, part of my plan worked and the other part well that fucked up royally now it would destroy cheryl and it had taken an innocent life, how am I going to live with this? What do I say to Brendan? Do I tell him yet? I decide to keep it quiet for now, until I know for sure, the kid could survive, anything is possible, I see my chosen destination, a small house in the middle of nowhere well actually it's Wigan, I chose it because I like the seaside and it's out of Chester, I go to put my key in the door and I hear music blasting through the place, then I hear Kevin laughing so loud the windows may break, what the hell is going on in here? I open the door and the words of the music become clearer

I'm acting like a love sick fool,  
You've even got me carrying your books to school,  
Hey hey set me free stupid cupid stop picking on me

I hear Kevin's raucous laughter again as I slowly creep through the hall, the door is half open, I'm dreading what I'm about to see and then there he is, I feel like my eyes have deceived me, there is no way on earth I can be seeing what I think I just saw NO FUCKING WAY! Brendan Brady dancing like a total twink, shaking his bum, waving his arms you name it, probably the funniest and most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed in my life, I notice cans and bottle all over the floor and a familiar smell lingers in the air, "eh hem!" I scare the shit out of the pair of them and the look at me like a pair of naughty school boys "ste, ste,steveeeeeano" hiccup! Brendan manages and the shoots me a huge smile "boys are you drunk?" "jjj just a lil bit" chokes out as he winks and falls over laughing "hahaha did you see the Brendan dance steupid cupid stop picking on him" "Kevin, go to your room, I would like a word with my fiancé" "aye aye captain" he salutes me, dear god what a pair of idiots "Brendun Brady have you been a naughty boy?" I smirk as I talk "maybe just a bit, I'm seeing two of ye here ha" "I'm not talking about the booze Bren, I know that smell, I can smell it you know" "yeah I know ye can Steven, is just a housewarming oi had a bit left in moi pocket seemed a waste to throw it away, although now I've smoked it kinda wish I'd left it for Alex" "yeah erm listen Bren, I need to tell you something" he staggers over to me and almost falls until I reach out and catch him in my arms, he puts a finger over my lips "shhhhhh no more talkie Steven, kissy time!" he purses his lips out at me, and as always he stinks of shameful behaviour but I can't resist him, he kisses me passionately while trying hard not to tip the both of us over and slowly starts to back me up into the sofa "oh yeah that reminds me Steven nice furniture" "well you wasn't using it was ya, it was good stuff I didn't want to throw it away" "and if we were to go to our bedroom what would be in there" "your, I mean our bed" "my bed, my bed that I have fucked you all over for the best part of two years?" "yep" he kisses me gently "thank ye Steven" "for what?" "for being with me, for loving me, for everything "you know I'd do anything for you cos I love you, even when you are drunk, dancing like an idiot with a twenty year old" "what Kevin's only twenty" "yeah Bren listen to me right" I take his face in my hands and look directly into his eyes "listen to me, I love you, I really love you more than anyone in this world ever could, I'd die for you, in a heartbeat, I want you to know you are everything to me Brendan right but there's really something I need to…" he possesses my lips once again, I'm trying so hard to tell him about Alex, but he is making it too hard, I don't want to lie to him but I don't want to hurt him either so I decide to give him tonight and give him the truth tomorrow he deserves at least one more happy night, I don't even know if he will love me anymore once he knows what I've done so tonight is going to be amazing and perfect.

Brendan sits down on the sofa, tucks a finger into my waistband and tugs me over to him, I'm still standing and he begins to unbutton my shirt from the bottom to the top, as my shirt falls open and slips over my shoulder he starts kissing my stomach, licking around my belly button, leaving subtle kisses in his wake and then sucking where he just kissed, I push him backwards "no Bren, not yet" he pouts "why" "cos, Kevin!" "ah sorted just a minute" he starts ratching around on the table next to us "I saw them on here before" "saw what?" "the headphones and ipod I bought ye" "oh no Bren you can't, don't do that to the kid" he smirks at me and I know he's doing it either way whatever I say, he eventually finds it and gets up, picks up the bottle of cider and heads to Kevin's room

I hear them talking "Kevin are ye decent in there" "yeah" "alright I'm coming in" "okay" "right Kevin got something for ye" "what?" "this, it's got some decent music on it, it's Steven's ye might need it" "why would I need…?" eventually he realises "errr Brendan!" "me and Steven are gonna" "yeah I got it thanks, you know what I'm gonna head out there's a club a mile up the road" "yeah probably a good idea otherwise you may be deafened" "erm yeah thanks for that Brendan mate, ooh is that the cider?" "yeah" "can I have it?" "yeah knock yourself out kid ye paid for the booze" "actually Ste did I'll pay him back when Doug gives me me wages" "no problem ye got a key?" "yeah err have fun" I see Kevin come out of his room looking pale as Brendan shouts back "oh don't worry I will!" I mouth sorry to Kevin and he smiles as he leaves.

Brendan comes back in with a proud grin on his face as if he just achieved something major "you are such a dick Brendan Brady" "yeah ye know it, kid needs to learn what living with gay lovers entails" "ooh gay lovers is that what we are is it" I reply in a camp voice, he laughs and smiles then motions me over with one finger "come ere" "no you come here" I reply as I pat the sofa next to me, he comes over and takes a seat and I stand up shirt still unbuttoned hanging loose off my shoulders "back to where we were" I tell him as he pulls me up to him "where were we again remind me Steven" "well, you were licking and sucking every inch of my stomach and you had my hands on your arse like this" I say as I take his hands and place them on my arse "then you would of slowly and seductively unzipped me and pulled down my pants until you could fit your hand down my boxers" "and then what?" he says into my stomach "and then you would pull me down and climb on top of me, tease me until I couldn't stand anymore, then lick me and suck me, and finger fuck me until I beg you to stick that big nine inch cock into me, accurate?" "fuck Steven, and maybe" he stays sitting up as he kisses my stomach, remover his hands from me and unravels the ties on his prison issue joggers "please tell me you've got me some decent non jail bird clothes here Steven" "I kept everything Bren all of your stuff" "good cos I'm never wearing these ever again" he says as he pulls down his joggers and throws them across the room towards the bin, now he sits in front of me in a plain black t-shirt and tight black boxers, I waste no time in unzipping myself and copying him by removing my work pants and sending them to be with Brendan's prison joggers "won't be needing those anymore" "hmm if oi had moi way Steven you'd never wear pants again" "mmm" I reply as I watch him touch himself "what are you doing?" "what does it look like Steven?" "it looks like you are getting yourself off without my help" "does it?" "yeah it does and I can't be having that" "then take of your shorts and climb aboard" I take off my boxers and climb on to Brendan's knee cock standing to attention against his belly button, my legs bent either side of him, if he wants me to ride him like this I'm more than game this is so hot!

"I am going to fuck you, I'm going to ride that arse of yours all night until ye can't stand it and when you are spent and tired guess what?" "wh.. What?" "I'm going to fuck ye again, and again, by tomorrow we will of fucked at least five times, it's my mission" "well who am I to stop you" he kisses me nice and slow as he removes my shirt completely, his hands running up and down my back, my hands in his hair, suddenly he decides he doesn't want the foreplay this time around and whips his huge hard cock out, he doesn't ask me he just covers himself in lube and nudges me up from him then lines up, I slowly ease down on him with one hand on his chest as I stick my tongue in his mouth "ah fuck Bren, I want all of you in me now!" "get to it then baby" in a flash I sit down on him taking in every single inch, sucking him in and burying him deep, he kisses me some more as I wrap my hands behind his silky neck "scratch me Steven, dig your nails in, hurt me" "why do you want me to hurt you?" "for the first time in a year I'm free Steven, oi can make as much noise as I want te, I want te scream as loud as ye do, ride me pleasure me, fuck me hard Steven, no holding back now" I dig my nails hard into his shoulders as I jump up and down taking him to the edge with every movement "oh fuck Steven, fuck, harder, faster, fuck me hard, bite me, just FUCKING bite me!" holy shit he wasn't lying about making noise it's a good job Kevin went out, cos the noise he is making is amazing so vocal, I hasten my bouncing until it hurts but there is so much pleasure in this that it's a good hurt, it's a passionate pain "oh god I love ye Steven, how does it feel?" "wh wha what? How does what feel" "how do I feel inside ye deep like this?" "you feel fucking amazing Bren you feel like heaven, you feel fuck, you feel" "what?" "huge, massive and so hard, feels like I've got a big fat dildo in my arse" "that good" "if only you knew" "I know, ye felt perfect earlier, ye were, ye are perfect" I start bouncing on his cock harder and faster than before and he tenses I can tell he's close to the end and I am too I feel I could explode at any moment "oh Steven, ste, ste STEEEEEEEEEVEN!" "um Brendan, did you just? Before me?!" "mm hmm" his hand runs through my hair lazily, he is well and truly fucked, and I am still not done "sorry steven, that was fantastic, I couldn't hold out for ye do ye want me to" " I want you to sit there and watch" "watch?" "yeah I'm going to stay right here on top of you and I'm going to fuck myself for you" "you not gonna take me out of ye first Steven" "nope, hopefully you will get so turned on that you'll stiffen up again, right there inside me" "fucks sake steven ye horny little devil ye!" "it was the dancing, might of looked mental but it was really hot" "ye loike my dancing, what de ye loike about moi dancing, is it the arse wiggle?" "oh yeah, I can just picture that arse shaking beside me in a club to music me and you on the dance floor rubbing up against each other torturing each other till we are desperate to fuck there and then on the dance floor" "oh wooah Steven ye trying te turn me on?" "do I need to try?" "no all I have to do is look at you and I get hard" "then why aint you hard now?" "cos ye have just grinded on me like a fucking lap dancer Steven oi'd have te be a porn star te instantly harden for ye after that round" I lean in and kiss him again, cock still throbbing hard and desperate for attention "ye really wanna fuck yerself for me Steven, cos oi have a better idea" "care to share, instead of fucking yourself why don't ye fuck me!" "what again, twice in one day" "oi want ye inside me again Steven another position" "oh yeah, how do you want it?" "doggy" "you want to get on your hands and knees and let me slide into you" "well when you put it like that yeah steven oi do" "got a taste for it have ya I'll do it, but ya can fuck off if you think you are getting used to it I'm the bottom just remember that, I fucking love it when you thrust in and out of me and I'm not changing that okay?" "okay Steven I know where I stand come on".

he pushes me to the other side of the sofa and stands to offer me a hand and I take it willingly as he leads me to the bedroom he lays down on our bed and finally removes his t-shirts so he's completely naked like me, he turns onto his stomach and crawls over to me at the bottom of the bed, he kneels up behind me and starts sucking at my earlobe until I turn around and he kisses me passionately then gets into position, he passes me the lube and I smother it over myself and his arse "don't go slow this time just ram it in" "you sure Bren, don't want to hurt you?" "it's a good hurt remember" I line up slip a hand up his back to steady myself and I obey his wishes as I slam into him making him cry out "ahhhhhhh" "shhhh" I say rubbing my hand over his back to calm him "I'm sorry" I feel bad for hurting him "I'm fine, just do it now" I start to thrust into him taking my time so as not to hurt him again "Steven" he says in a warning tone, "what?" "too slow, harder, now" "no Bren, I just hurt you, I don't want to hurt you again" "it's fine now, just go for it, I'm aching for it Steven, for ye" I throw him a wary look and then hold on to his hips and thrust harder in and out of him until he feels more relaxed around me and leans down further into the pillows on our bed using his crossed arms to rest on in front of him, I lean further over his back and slip my hot sweaty arms around his sexy and ripped torso, feeling the tightness of his huge tensed muscles, my man is so hot I could ride him like this everyday, but I won't like I told him before I enjoy what he does to me too much, I want to pull him up into me as close as we can get "lean into me Brendan" "I am" "no I mean get on your knees, part your legs a little and put your palms flat against the wall" "someone is submissive today isn't he?" "he is, your man is going to do you hard and fast and you aint going to be allowed to lay a finger on me, do you understand" "got it no touching the merchandise".  
I whisper seductively "however if you are a good boy and I don't have to spank you, I might just give you something in return" "oh yeah and what is that?" "a night out on me just me and you, drinking, dancing just enjoying each other no hiding just being who we are" "yeah?" "yeah it's what I want" "can we talk about it after, small talk during sex just doesn't feel right Steven" I laugh, he has a point, we move closer to the wall and he places his hands where I asked him to put them as I wrap mine tighter into him leaving no space between us "ready?" I ask "ye know me steven I'm always ready for ye" I nuzzle at his ear lobe and nibble at his neck while I thrust hard and fast into him listening to his soft moans as I excite and pleasure him, I reach down and confirm my suspicions yes Brendan Brady is once again standing to attention, I wrap my hand hard tight around his nine inches of perfection and fist him hard and shag him hard, my man is a ride, this still feels like a dream, me and him like this, constantly stuck in the honeymoon period of our relationship we can never keep our hands off each other.

I start to feel him tense up again, and this time I am joining him I feel the beautiful white haze of orgasm wash over me as I come, still buried deep inside him, "oh fuck Bren, oh my god!" "oh Steven, harder, I'm nearly there baby don't stop" "you can.. You can touch me now" "oh thank fuck for that didn't think torture was your style Steven" "it's not, just heightens the pleasure doesn't it" "not mine" I keep playing with his still hard cock rolling it about in my hands, I pull out of him and kiss the back of his neck, then I lay him down comfortably on the bed and lie on top of him kissing him "what are ye gonna do about this Steven?" he asks thrusting up into my hand, I look at him for a second and use my sexiest smile on him then slide down his body using the tip of my tongue from his neck to his groin, it drives him wild "come on Steven I need to come now" I look up at him "I'm on it" and I start to lick up and down his rock hard length, I play with him with my tongue twisting and licking ferociously then I take him into my mouth when I know he's about to come "oh fff fuck Steven, you are a fucking god" I swallow his come like my favourite meal and I get up and lie on top of him again.

I lie across my man contently, looking into his eyes, his hands wrapped tight about my body, we are both silent and smiling at each other for at least five minutes before he speaks "ye are amazing, ye know that" "yeah you tell me enough" "only speaking the truth Steven" "how do you feel? I mean freedom how does it feel" "it's not about the freedom Steven, if there was no you I'd of happily stayed in that place forever, ye know ye, ye make me see, ye make me believe the world can be beautiful, ye taught me how te love and without ye freedom means nothing I couldn't do this without ye" a memory plays back in my mind, I'm crying in the deli, Brendan banging franticly on the door begging me to open it, "he did this to me, he killed that love inside of me and I can't get it back without ye, ye make me, believe that the world can be good again and I can't do this without ye" a few nights before you were cruelly parted and he had once again hurt you, you try and shift it from your memory, "I know Steven" he says as he strokes your hair, I remember I said something like that to ye before, ye know I'd never hurt ye ever again don't ye?" " I trust you not to, I hope you won't" "oi won't Steven oi think if I ever hurt ye again, you'd leave me and I couldn't live with that" he sounds choked up as he leans in an whispers "please never leave me" I take his hand in mine and raise it up to my lips and kiss his soft gentle hand tenderly, "I've got something for you" I say as I roll off him and stretch over to the nearby bedside table "close your eyes Bren" I still hold his hand in mine as I take the small item out of the bag I have been hiding it in.

**Brendan pov**

I still hold onto his smooth loving hand, with my eyes firmly closed, I hear him rustling what sounds like a plastic bag then I feel something solid and cold on my finger he says "you can open your eyes now" I open my eyes and I look down at my hand and my finger which now proudly holds a beautiful shiny white gold band it is exactly what I imagined, actually better, it has small crucifixes indented onto it and I understand the sentiment as I watch him clasp my neck chain on around his slender neck, he knows about the cross, the hospital visits, the crosses on the ring are a memory of us "take it off" he says "no Steven I love it, I don't want te" "you can put it back on I want you to look on the other side, I promise" I quickly remove the precious metal and I look at the engraving on the inside of it **there is nothing you can do that will ever make me stop loving you**, he's stolen my words from the house before I left him to see my kids, in case I was going down "oh Steven oi oi just…" "never thought I'd see the day, Brendan Brady lost for words" "this is just, wow it's just everything Steven, this is, it's so special" "it's custom made, I took ages to decide on everything did I do good?" "did you? Steven this is better than good this is amazing, I'm never taking it off, it's never leaving my body" I suddenly feel bad I don't have two pennies to rub together, I never considered money while I was inside but now I so desperately want to get Steven a ring that matches the sheer beauty and effort of mine, and suddenly it's like he read my mind "I know you have no money and you can't afford to buy me one so, I bought the same one for myself" he takes it out, but unlike mine it is plain there is nothing on it at all I pull a face "it's rubbish" "yeah it's rubbish now, I thought when we are settled you could get it done like I did with yours, the way you think I'd like it" "that won't be for ages" "well I didn't want to get your hopes up but I was talking to Mitzeee and she owns a club in LA, she wants you to be her partner in crime there is a perfect life waiting for us over there Bren" "sounds promising, thank ye Steven what did I do to deserve ye?"

"you changed Bren, that's what you did and I love you" "I love ye too Steven come lie with me a while" "you don't want to you know again do you?" "god, Steven it's not always about sex, I just want te hold ye for a while, just lie with ye and not worry that someone will walk in and catch us" I move up to him and snuggle softly into his side his arm wrapped tightly around me and I watch and feel as his head gets heavier against mine he's falling to sleep, still holding onto my dressed hand I shuffle up so that his head carefully lands on my chest and I sit and think about what tomorrow will bring for a while tomorrow I meet my son for the first time and I can't wait of course I'm not looking forward to see Douglas as he drops him off but for now sleep is consuming me, I settle into Steven and fall into my slumber.


	12. Chapter 12

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 12

I awaken to find I am as close to Steven as humanly possible in fact we are both boiling hot and starting to sweat, I can feel his tiny hand is still in mine holding tight against his chest, I'm thirsty so I need to let go, I don't want to but I have to reach over and get my drink from the nightstand I feel him stirring at the loss of my warmth against his hot body so I check his phone to see the time, it's still relatively early so I figure I'll cosy back up to him and try to go back to sleep, as I snuggle back into him he turns to face me and tucks his face into my chest, I lie staring into the dark but it's no good I can't get back to sleep, I feel something tickling my chest, something light and soft and I know instantly steven is awake, it's those long beautiful eyelashes flickering as his eyes start to open "mmm morning you" he says as he holds me tightly "good morning good looking" I reply, I can be as cheesy and romantic as I want when it's just us, I have nothing to prove about myself in Steven's presence he knows exactly who I am. "What time is Bren?" he asks "it's half four, why?" "have you heard Kevin come in yet?" "nope that kid is a dirty stop out and he's got moi car" "he's probably gone to see Maxine" "Maxine? Ann's sister Maxine, why would he go to her?" "they are together Bren, trust me I know" "what do ye mean?, didn't think she'd be his type" "well she certainly looked interested last time I saw her" "what happened?" "I walked in on the two of em shagging on the kitchen counter" " oh, right, ah so that's how ye knew he wouldn't hit on ye?" "yep definitely gave me an idea he was straight, that and he told me he liked girls so ya never needed to be jealous" "well ye know me Steven, I don't like other boys playing with my toys" "toys! Oh thanks" "ye know what I mean, only I get to play with ye, in fact I'm kind of in the mood to play right now".

I'm lying with my legs lazily tangled with his, so I start running my foot up one of his legs to tease him and I run my hand slowly down his stomach I start nibbling and sucking on his neck softly listening to his small keening noises "ye in the mood Steven?" "Brendun I'm twenty five, I wake up in the mood, I go to sleep in the mood, I'm always in the mood, sometimes I worry I'm going to have to strap it down" "when ye are thinking about me I hope" "I'm always thinking of you" "how do ye want it Steven?" "want it?" "how do ye want me to fuck you?" "I wanna put me legs over your shoulders" "that's different for ye" "wanna try something new with ya" I lean over his body and kiss him gently while I help him lift his legs up onto my shoulders, I'm not ready to fuck him like this yet, if we are going to do this position I need to prepare him open him up ready I stick my fingers in his mouth and he knows what I want as he licks and sucks them for me, I reach for his hole and shove one in and here him moan my name I use one for a minute and then add another steven wraps his arms tight around my neck and pushes into me "impatient" "yeah I want you Bren, I want your big hard dick to ride me like it was last night" fuck this boy likes to work me hard, I pull out my fingers and lick them in his face, it just seems to turn him on some more, I line up and gently insert myself back into him, once he is comfortable I start thrusting hard and fast "ah Bren fuck yeah do me just like that, that's it" I reach up for one of his hands and pull it down to hold in mine rubbing our fingers together and interlocking them as I ride his arse into a frenzy I feel so close to my climax but I don't want it to end yet "Steven I'm gonna" "me to go on then" "no I don't want te" "Brendan let it go you can't keep it up forever, uhhh ah yes come on Brendan come with me… now" I blow my load into him for the umpteenth time tonight, I've lost count due to all of the hardcore shagging we've engaged in "right that's it for now Steven ye are gonna put me in an early grave" "ok I suppose you've earned a break, and kyle is gonna be here soon you will definitely need the energy to look after that little guy daddy Brendan" "hmm daddy! I've missed that" "yeah me too" "we will get your kids back Steven" "and what about yours?" "I'll get in touch with them when we settle" "Brendan?" "yeah?" "I want to tell Amy" "tell her what?" "everything" "Steven you know you can't" "Bren she thinks you are a villain, maybe if she knew the truth she would see you in a different light" "maybe, but we can't put Chez at risk like that" "no right Brendan, Amy will understand once we tell her about him, that pervert and what he did to you, I know she will understand, please just at least say you'll think about it" "I'll think about it" "thank you, thank you, thank you" he says planting kisses all over my face "that's a I'll think about it Steven not I'll do it" you know he's excited because he knows he will get his own way as always because he has you wrapped around his little finger.

I start falling back to sleep as does Steven, and then there is a loud bang and we both jump "what the fuck was that" "I dunno go av a look Bren, please" "course, stay there Steven" I hear another bang, then I hear swearing, I walk through the hall to the door where it's coming from, the front door, I turn the key to open it and see a horrifying sight one I did not need to see, Kevin tumbles over the into the landing with his trackies and boxers around his ankles and Maxine's legs wrapped around his back, the dirty little fuckers have been screwing against the front door! "fuck sake Kevin, seriously!" "sorry mate, it, it just happened" "it seems to keep happening with you two doesn't it, first Steven and now me is there anyone who hasn't caught you at it" "no not really" I was being sarcastic I didn't think he would have that kind of answer for me "well this has been lovely but there's an extremely sexy and extremely naked Mancunian waiting in my bed so if you'll excuse me" as I go to leave I hear her voice "Brendan? What are you doing here?" it's Maxine, she has seen me now, there's no point in lying "I'm not gonna lie to ye kid, ask yer boyfriend, Kevin be my guest, go on tell her everything, tell her the truth".

I go back to my gorgeous Manc "alright, what was it?" "it was Kevin doing something unspeakable against the front door" "urgh he wanks off against me door" "no Steven he wasn't wanking, it was much, much worse, "what the hell was he doing? Taking a wazz?" "no he wasn't pissing on our door Steven" "then what just tell me Bren" "he wasn't alone Steven" "he picked someone up when he has a bird, that's low" "no, no actually he brought his 'bird' home" "what Maxine is here and shes seen you!" "yeah" "shit what if she tells someone" "she won't she's too smitten with the boy to implicate him" "how do you know?" "I dunno I just sense it Steven the eyes she makes at him the way she holds onto him I can tell, she won't tell anyone, I told Kevin to tell her the truth" "what? Why?" "cos lies aint something to base an honest relationship on Steven look at us" "what's that mean?" "it means if I'd of told you the truth about my da then maybe none of what happened would of happened" "or maybe I would of just shot the sick bastard" "ye would?" " if I saw him try to hurt you corse I would" "then it would of went the same way I'd still of gone to jail" "how? Eh? No you wouldn't" "oi would, I'd take the blame for ye just like I did Cheryl" "no you wouldn't, I wouldn't let ya" "and oi wouldn't let ye go to jail Steven" "you would really do that for me?" "yeah" "why though?" "cos I love ye ye eejit come ere" I open my arms for him to come and settle into me "don't ye know, oi would do anything for ye Steven, anything to keep ye safe, protect ye from pain or harm" I run my fingers softy up and down one of his loving arms and we just lie together in peace "I know ya would, I love you too Bren" I kiss him on his nose and then passionately on the lips and then we settle down back to sleep.

I'm awoken by knocking on the door "I'll get it!", I hear a chirpy Kevin shout out you can tell he got some last night Steven awakens and sits up "morning babe" "morning darling" I say mockingly, "is that someone at the door?" "yeah" he jumps up looking excited "it'll be Doug, he puts on his boxers and goes to leave the room "erm Steven no!" "what?" "ye aint going near Douglas like that, in your pants" "ooh get you jealous arse, get over yourself he's with someone now, we've both moved on" "oi don't care only I get to see ye in ye pants, get dressed" "fine!" he picks some clothes from inside the wardrobe "ah now that's moi boy" "you like the tracksuits then" "more than that fucking guard uniform, easier access when we are in the mood and ye look more like yerself, the Steven I fell for" "oh ya fell did ya?" "head over heels" he kisses me and then leaves the room, I start to dress myself, as I look in the mirror I notice all the bite marks across my neck, I look like a fucking fifteen year old who's been spending too much time behind the bike sheds! I choose my old black jumper with the brown patches on the sleeves and a nice pair of denim jeans, I need to gel my hair, I'm not going out there looking like a prisoner and my hair is a disgrace after the evenings activities "STEVEN?" "YEAH?" "YE GOT ANY GEL?" "YEAH JUST A MINUTE!"

I wait for him to bring it to me, I hear a quiet knocking on the door, "come in?" to my surprise Douglas enters the room carrying a small boy "wow Douglas I never knew congratulations oi guess" "what are you talking about Brendan?" "I didn't realise ye were pregnant congratulations" I laugh at my own joke "oh yeah I see prison didn't change the childish humorous side of you" "nope it did not Douglas, what can I do for ye?" "hair gel" he throws the tub of gel to me "so who's the kid?" I find myself asking, I've been away for a year and so much has changed "he's my son Matthew" "how, ye are gay, ye are still gay?" "yeah I'm super gay, he's my partners son but he calls me dad" "partner, Steven mentioned ye had someone actually" suddenly another figure appears beside Doug, a familiar one "ah speak of the devil" "hey Brendan" "umm yeah sorry tip of my tongue?" "John Paul McQueen" "ah that's the one, alright?" "yeah just wondered what was keeping my boyfriend here" "just talking cute kid by the way" "thanks, come on you lets leave Brendan to get ready mr" "yeah see you in a minute" "yeah ye will Douglas right next to my Steven" I can't help but still feel resentment for the man that I had to share my boy with for so long before I finally told him how I felt, they had shared so much he'd even put a ring on his finger before I could.

I still sit in the room, this is going to be an emotional moment meeting my new family I don't want to be rude but I don't want to do it with company I want it just me and Steven I pick up the temporary phone Kevin gave me yesterday and text one of the only numbers I have **Steven I don't want to be a dick but can I meet Kyle alone with ye please ask the boys to leave they can come back later or ye could leave them and bring him in to me? Recipient: Steven**

I hear him excuse himself and assume he's bringing the child to me, sure enough he comes in carrying a small bundle in blue in his arms, "hey you, this is our Kyle, Kyle meet daddy" he hands the child over to me, I barely know what I'm doing it's been ages since I held a small baby "support his head Bren, it's okay you are doing fine" I slide one hand around under his head and hold him in one arm, wow he really does look like Steven his eyes are beautiful, he stares up at me.

"hi little man, I might not be a god man but I'm going to make sure ye are, I'm going to be the best da you could ever wish for, well the second best, I've learned from the best" I say looking at Steven as he slips an arm behind my neck and places his hand supportively on my shoulder "this man has taught me how te love, so I can be everything for ye both, and ye are the luckiest boy in the world because ye have the most amazing daddy ever, if I fall I know he will catch me, if I mess up I know he will fix it and if I hurt I know he will kill the pain" "are you reciting your wedding vows to our son" "I might be" Steven looks at me with a look of pure shock on his face and then reaches his free hand up and wipes a finger under my eye, am I? Am I crying? "hey, you big softie don't worry it's our little secret, you ok?" "yeah I'm fine Steven, just this is everything I've ever wanted and he just looks so much like ye he's stunning "isn't he just. I haven't spent much time with him lately but he loves Kevin and now I'm not working it's going to change anyways I'll be looking after him full time now won't I" "if that's what ye want Steven only if it's what ye want?" "well you are good at what you do aren't ya you are a club owner it's what you do best" "maybe that's my problem Steven, maybe I'll be better as a dad with a different job "like what?" "I don't know I do have other qualifications though, we will think about it more when we get to America yeah?" "yeah probably best maybe look at the club before you decide see what it has to offer" "but for now I just want to chill out with my boys, yes I do don't I kid I want to get to know my little guy" kyle smiles and sucks on my little finger "I think he likes you" "yeah?" "yeah how could he not you are perfect" "soppy git" I reply as I rest my head against his.

All of a sudden Kevin and Maxine appear at the door "aww Max check this out, the little family, so cute" "definite photo moment Kevin, come on get your cam out" I hate having my picture taken but Steven looks enthusiastic about it so I suck it up and smile for the camera "right that's your lot Kevin" I warn "aww just one more" Maxine asks "ok one more but anymore than that and I'll start talking about what I saw this morning" the two of them look horrified at the concept and Steven nudges my leg to signal me to shut up but smiles at my comment. "You got plans tonight Kevin?" I ask "nah nothing why?" "can you babysit I'm taking Steven out, club down the road any good?" "yeah it's alright" "okay that's that then tonight we party!".


	13. Chapter 13

**Don't drop your guard**

**Chapter 13**

It's twelve in the afternoon, and I figured since we want to have a good night out tonight we should rest up so we can stay out late, Kevin and Maxine have taken Kyle out into town with them so it's just me and Steven here alone in our room. Steven sleeps with his arms wrapped around me but he is unsettled he keeps talking about someone being dead and it's his fault and he's saying sorry and writhing around in the bed, I turn to face him and lightly kiss his cheek then stroke his forehead, he is sweaty and hot so I pull the duvet off his skinny body until I am satisfied he's cooling down, I settle back under the duvet because unlike Steven I am freezing, he keeps writhing around so I sit up because it's clear I'm not sleeping anytime soon but I can be patient, something is obviously bothering him and I intend to find out what it is.

"Ouch!" something bit me right on my shoulder I don't even need to turn around to know what it was, I think I'll have a bit of fun playing with him so I don't turn I just continue to pretend to be asleep, I feel his hand slowly creeping down my body and I try to keep my cool and not give it but I can't, instead I jump at his hot touch, "Brenduun, you awake" he whispers into my ear, I can feel his hot breath against my neck, he's wide awake and raring to go, "mmmm Steven just put them in the bin" I say, it's the silliest most random thing I could think of in this precise moment, I can hear him sniggering under the cover when he thinks I am sleep talking. Steven decides to leave me to sleep and settles himself into my back again tickling me with every flutter of his beautiful long lashes, I flinch at the tickling and turn round fast till I find myself on top of him "afternoon nibbles" I say "ah so you were awake then you sly fucker" Steven replies "yep, mind ye, I'm much more awake now" "yeah I can feel that Bren" "so what ye gonna do about it Steven, and it's your fault so ye can help out" "oh can I now? Well sorry to disappoint Bren but I was in the mood and you pretended to be asleep so you missed your chance" before I know it he's nudging me off him and turning around with his back to me, what the actual fuck!

"Steven? Steven are ye actually being serious?" "no! since when do I say no to sex? Thought you knew me better than that Bren" "ye little fucker, ye had me worried there, thought ye had gone off me" "yeah cos that would happen wouldn't it Bren, I'll just break you out of jail and kill someone so that I can end things and leave you!". Did he just say? Wait what? Steven has killed someone! Steven is a murderer, I turn to look him in the eyes and he looks happy he doesn't even realise what he just told me "who did ye kill Steven?" a look of sheer horror crosses his face "what?" "I said who did ye kill Steven?" "what, noone I aint killed no one Bren, why would you even ask me that?" "cos ye just said it Steven, ye said I'll just break you out of jail and kill someone so that I can end things and leave you so come on tell me Steven who did you kill and how did you do it? I mean look at ye, ye wouldn't hurt a fly, ye, ye aint like me it's not in ye how?" before I can continue to question him he has bolted out of the door and into the bathroom and locked himself in where I can't get to him.

"Steven? Steven come on man, let me in, Steven it's gonna be ok, I promise whatever it is we can get through it yeah, just tell me and we can work it out baby come on!" "NOOOO! you'll hate me forever I can't Bren I can't tell you, you will never forgive me., I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen Bren I'm so sorry please don't hate me" "Steven, I couldn't hate ye even if I wanted to oi love ye ye eejit" "yeah you love me now, but once I tell you what I did you'll hate me and we will be over and we will never be able to get it back" "get what back, ye are making no sense Steven, this makes no sense we were just and then ye ran and now ye are crying and puking behind a locked door and ye won't let me help ye, please tell me what to do?" "there's nothing you can do Bren, once I've told you you will leave me you won't want to see meh ever again at least if I stay hidden in here and don't tell then you stay too" "that is ridiculous Steven, come out now or I will kick this door down Steven" "no leave me alone Brendan!" "can't do that Steven oi love ye oi wont leave ye crying and puking ye got five seconds to get out here Steven or I'm kicking the door in, for yer own good".

I take a step back ready to boot the door down but then I hear the lock slide out and Steven appears behind the door looking terrified, pale and drained from all of the vomiting "baby come here" he comes towards me and I lay a hand on his cheek where tears are still rolling down his face, I kiss him soft on he lips and he grabs me tighter than he ever has before like he's clinging on for dear life he really is scared I'll leave him "Steven, please come on baby, tell me, what have ye done that is so bad I'd ever leave ye?" "I.. I… I killed Alex Brendan alright I killed Alex!" "Alex? My Alex? What? Why would ye…. But why.. No Steven, please no, tell me ye are lying Steven" I can't stay here with him right now I need to get the hell out of this house now and fast before I erupt, I don't want to know the details I just want to escape in case things escalate and go beyond our control, I turn away from him and head to the room put on my best clothes and pick up my mobile which has been charging all night "Bren., Brendan where are you going?!" "away, I need to be away from ye Steven leave me alone yeah!" "Brendan don't leave me!" "go away Steven!" I turn to walk away but I can't help looking as I hear a thud on the floor behind me he's fallen to his knees holding his chest like he can't breathe, I turn back to him and drop to my own knees in front of him "Steven, look at me ok" he looks up while sobbing "I'm not leaving ye I just need air I need to get my head straight and then I will call or come back for ye and ye can explain yourself, what ye just told me it hurts and I don't understand I just need time to think by myself, I still love ye" I turn away from my still sobbing fiance and leave the house, as I get to the gate Kevin and Maxine are heading back home "going somewhere Brendan?" "yeah out" I reply to Kevin "where is Ste, have you two fallen out?" "I don't wanna talk about it Kevin ok, just look after him until I call yeah, don't let him outta your sight" "ok mate" Kevin replies with a confused look as I walk down the road.

I come to a public footpath alongside the sea it looks quiet and peaceful here so I take a seat on a bench and lay my head in my hands, I feel like I have been walking forever I'm so tired as I settle I hear my phone ringing in my pocket

**1 new message from Kevin recieved 14:50**

I open the text it reads** I tried, Ste has gone, and so has half the medicine cabinet, call me asap Kev x**

I instantly call Kevin;s number and he answers in mere seconds "Kevin, what the fuck do you mean half the medicine cabinet has gone?" "he said he needed to use the toilet and I said I'd make him a coffee I heard the door slam and when I ran outside he had already gone, I ran into the bathroom and that's when I noticed his pain meds from the hospital had all gone too" "which way did he go?" "looked like he was heading towards the nightlife mate" "ok I'll go looking let me know if he comes home please" "it goes without saying mate, I'm sorry I let you down Brendan" "not your fault Kevin just hang tight yeah I'll be in touch".

I have no idea where to start I'm on foot so it's going to take me forever to find him, still I have to try my mobile starts ringing again this time it's a call from Steven, I answer as fast as I can "Steven, Steven? Where are ye?" "I never wanted to hurt you Bren I'm sorry I can't do this without you, I just can't I won't, I love you and I'm sorry for this I can't live with what I have done I don't want to" "Steven, have ye done something? Ye are slurring what's wrong with ye?" "I'm in the club with new friends just drinking just having a small drink, come on Ste lets go out back" "Steven who the fuck was that, are ye with someone" "I dunno just some bloke he's not you but he'll do" "Steven please don't do this don't break us, if you do this there is no going back, if you do this you'll destroy me, is that what you want?" "I've already destroyed you Bren you ran away cos you couldn't be near me" "no Steven, I just needed time, I'm coming to find ye stay where ye are!" "I can't Bren I can't look at you, I can't talk to you, I can't see you, I can't stand there watching you hate me for what I've done, I don't want to watch you despising me I love you, I love you so much it kills me knowing I've hurt you and it kills me knowing what I've done to that kid, I can't justify it and I can't take it back ever, until the day I die I will be a murderer" "so will I Steven, I live with it everyday you just learn to cope after the first you have to" "I don't want to I want to be punished for it, I'm going to fuck this guy, take these pills and then I'm going to the nearest police station and turn myself in before I die" "before ye die! Have ye fucking heard yourself Steven, so everything we have been through everything you have done for me ye are just gonna throw that away because I'm mad at ye?" "no, I want to do it cos I am a bad person" "ye are not a bad person Steven, I'm angry about what ye have done but whatever happened I know you didn't mean to do it I love ye Steven Hay ye are a good man, turn around".

"Ye know something Steven, ye are a total pain in my arse, ye are stubborn and ye are insane but I love ye no matter what ye do come here" I hold out my arms to him hoping and praying he will come over to me so I can pull him close to me and hold him tight "I can't, how can you just forgive me for this, what I've done, you will hold this against me for the rest of our lives together" "I won't Steven I can't, I love ye too much to hate ye so come here" he comes over to me and lays his head on my chest while still apologising "right have ye taken something ye shouldn't of Steven?" "no I wanted to, I couldn't, I couldn't do it to you, I've just had some whisky" "good boy come on lets go home" "no I don't want to I want some more drink" "is that wise Steven?" "yeah I just want to drink and talk please let me explain Bren, it was an accident, a horrible stupid mistake I didn't see him I didn't know he was in there" "Alex? In where? The fire? He died in the fire?" "yeah he was looking for you Bren he thought you were smoking down there, the prison think you were in there with him and if the fire gutted the place enough they think you are dead too".

"Bren?" "sorry Steven a lot to take in, so they think I was in the room you torched with Alex?" "yeah they think you was having a fag down there where nobody could tap ya" "so technically ye didn't kill Alex ye were just the cause of his death?" "well yeah but I'd call that murder either way you look at it Brendan" "no Steven don't ye see? Murder is when ye mean to hurt someone ye didn't know he was down there ye aint like me I meant to do what I did ye didn't set out to hurt anyone" "what did you think I'd done?" " I don't know I thought ye might of told Alex what we were doing and then it had gone bad or something and ye just lost it this, this is different Steven, it was an accident".

I take Steven's hand in mine over the small table we have chosen to sit at alone away from prying eyes, "ye are still mine boy, my sexy gorgeous brighteyed husband to be and I love ye okay, and no more of this hurting yerself crap Steven alright, cos if ye ever took yourself away from me ye would kill me too, don't ye get that, I can't do this without ye, I couldn't of lost ye Steven, I just couldn't live without ye" he reaches up to my eye and wipes away a tear, god what has this boy done to me? Me, Brendan Brady crying in a public place but the thought of a life without this boy around it hurts. "so you still want me then" he asks looking down at the table "yeah I still want ye, I want ye every second of every day ye complete me I love ye more than life itself Steven how could ye ever doubt that?"

"do you want me right now?" "always" "how bad?" "if we were in chez chez right now I'd of bent ye over this table and I'd be fucking ye raw Steven". The thought of what I want to be doing to him drags straight down to my cock and had me throbbing in my tight jeans, Steven looks at me with that seductive warm smile and stands from the table with his hand stretched out offering it to me "I can't right now Steven" "huh why? Come on you promised" "ye know what I just said about the table? Well I thought a bit too HARD about it Steven and that's why I can't get UP" he smirks again and leans down to look under the table "ohhhh erm ooops haha" "it's not funny Steven this thing has a mind of its own" "I happen to like his way of thinking Brendan" "oh ye do do ye well do something about it then" "what now in ere?" "yeah nobodies watching" "right what exactly do you want me to do?" "get rid of it Steven any way ye can think of" "erm okay" he comes over to me and straddles my lap slowly unzipping my fly and reaching a hand into my boxers "god Bren you are so hard" "tell me about it, fuck yer hand is cold" "been outside all night aint I" I kiss him on the lips passionately "aww my poor baby I'll warm ye up later in bed" "I'll hold you to that" "I'm. sure. Ye will. Steven" I say in between low groans his hand is fisting my length fast as he wants to get me on that dance floor fast, "argh Steven, fuck I'm gonna come" he suddenly stops wanking me off and slides under the table, "steven. What are ye doing?" before I know it he has wrapped his mouth around my nine inches of meat and he's ferociously sucking me off before he's got going I have blown my load down his throat, well he wanted it fast, he comes back up and zips me back in and smiles "why didn't ye just use yer hand, not that I'm complaining cos that was amazing?" "well it's not gonna look good when the hunk I'm dancing with has a huge white stain on his black jeans is it Bren" "ah yeah good point".

Steven sits back in his own seat smiling and staring lovingly into my eyes god he takes my breath away how can something so small and fragile be so perfect in everyway, he takes a sip of his double whisky and coke as I watch and realise soon he won't be coherent enough to dance so I stand and offer him my hand, he willingly takes it as I pull him over to the dance floor the song that's one doesn't seem very appropriate to dance to with him but it will do, it's slow and RnB isn't really my thing but Steven seems to like it when we get into our dance it seems quite sexy "what is this Steven?" "this is ayo technology by fifty cent and Justin Timberlake Bren" he says as he grinds his pert little arse against my semi hardening dick, I wrap my arms around his waist and he wraps an arm around my neck still facing away from me and grinds harder so I do it back twice as hard, he stops dancing and whispers in my ear in the middle of the dance floor "Bren fuck me, I need you to fuck me hard and fast" "what right here!" Steven laughs "no not here on the dance floor Bren I think people would probably notice, nah did you not see that little ally at the side near the fence when you came in here? I want to go there" "so romantic Steven" "fuck romantic, that can wait till we get home to our bed, I want hardcore, fast sweaty fucking" "fuck Steven get yer arse out of that door now or I'm going to fuck ye right here in front of everyone!" "yes sir" Steven walks out as I pick up our drinks on the way past the table, "hope you've had a good evening sirs" the bubbly doorman says as we leave, "oh yes I reply and it's just getting better" I relay to him as I leave staring at the sexy as hell arse in front of me leading me to a quiet empty ally behind the club.


	14. Chapter 14

Don't drop your guard

Chapter 14

I follow Steven to the area he has chosen for our little encounter and as I take in the scenery I feel a hint of déjà vu coming on but can't work out why, he leans against the wall in the alley and looks me in the eyes "Brendan, take down your trousers, I growl at him and do as I am told I love him being all submissive, he is standing there in nothing but his sexy moustache boxers he must be freezing, he looks me up and down I have whipped my trousers and underwear down so he copies and sheds his underwear and throws them at me, I stuff them into my jacket pocket before it drops to the floor before I know it he has leapt up onto me and wrapped his legs around my waist, I turn us into the wall and line up as I turn my head my eye catches something very interesting behind us "Steven, do my eyes deceive me or is that a…" "yes Bren that is a police car, don't worry it's just a manc copper lives at the bottom of the hill he parks here cos the kids around the area keep wrecking his cars" "probably cos he's a dirty guard" "oi I was a guard" "no Steven not a guard like security and shit, it's irish for police our police are the guards" "oh right, and why are we talking about cops when you should be screwing me up on that wall?" "because Steven, I've always thought about fucking yer on the hood of a car, and that particular car would just be the icing on the cake" "what Bren, you cant be serious?" "deadly, get yer skinny arse on the car steven" "fine"

I put Steven down and pull up my trousers for a second while I move behind him to the parked vehicle "Brendan this is so bad" "no what's bad is that when I'm done with ye I'm gonna leave my mark" "what do you mean Bren" "haha ye will see after" lie down on the car Steven and spread em" "with pleasure officer Brady" "no Steven do ye want me to lose my hard on" "sorry with pleasure Sir" "that's more like it" I quickly pull down my trousers again revealing my hard nine incher, I lean over Steven and pin his hands above his head while I use my other hand to line my cock up to his hole, I slowly kiss him as I enter his tight little arse, and I swallow every pleasurable moan he lets out in my mouth I wrap my tongue around his softly as he pulls me closer to him !I fucking love you but you are such a bad boy Brendan Brady" "yeah I am and ye fucking love it" "I do, I want to smack you, I want to hit you so hard" "then hit me Steven, smack my smug sexy face ye know ye want to" he reaches a hand out and slaps me hard over my cheek it fucking hurt and I don't understand why he felt the urge to do it, maybe it's the drink, maybe he's just feeling kinky I don't even care right now, "Bren, fucks sake fuck me harder" "what like this?" I plow into him as hard as I can and he screams at me to go harder still "no fucking harder, har..der!" I lift one of his legs to my shoulder while I hold onto him by his arse and pick up the pace "ah fuck yes bren, like that, come on im close are you close?" "yeah, steven I'm going to pull out now come for me!" "what why aren't you coming inside me?" "cos Steven some things just have to be the way you want them to be" he looks at me in sheer horror as I pull out of him fast and fist my cock at the police car windscreen then blow my load all over it while I laugh "fucking guards!" I exclaim as I zip my trousers up.

As I get ready to pull Steven over to me I see the disbelief on his face "I really can't believe you just did that" "what those fuckers need sending a message" "yeah and what if they do dna testing on it?" "yes steven cos a copper is automatically gonna think two men have been fucking raw on the bonnet of my car and one blew his load on my windscreen, he'll just think it's milk or something don't worry" Steven keeps staring at me and then bursts into stitches "I love you Bren but you really aint normal" "right lets get our asses back in there it's half twelve and it's open until three am that's enough time to get well and truly fucked up and by the time comes to leave I'll be ready to fuck ye again" "right you are come on.

We kiss, we dance and hug but most of all we drink, we must of drank the bar dry steven and I are both beyond drunk now we are absolutely hammered the club manager comes over to us as we have a cheeky snog "erm lads?" "oh let me guess you are a homophobic prick who don't like boys kissing in yer club yeah?" "Steven! Ye will have to excuse my husband what he meant is hi what can we do for ye?" "we are closing now lads and since I've spent all night watching you both knock em back I just wanted to offer my help would you boys like me to call you a cab home?" "yeah that would be great thanks" I reply as I stumble from my seat and grab my beautiful boy "ye are so fucking sexy ye know that boy?" "no I'm not but thanks Bren" Steven replies hiccupping, we get into our ride and his tongue is down my throat in an instant "Steven, the things I'm gonna do to that arse when I get ye home oooft boom!" "I'm going to ride your hard cock all night baby you aint getting no sleep tonight I'm gonna make you scream my name Brendan".

We pull up outside the house and I throw a twenty at the driver who looks disgusted at what he's witnessed "keep the change mate for the stains on yer seats" "oh my god Bren! He's joking" Steven chips in to the driver, "Brendan Brady get in that house before I have to slap yer again" "yeah what was that about Steven?" "trying something new kinky innit?" "aye come on don't fall on the step now".

We get into the house and both decide to snog each others faces off like a pair of lovesick teens we end up on the living room floor half dressed shirts ripped open, buttons all over the floor trousers unzipped and then I don't remember a thing just darkness and peac I have fallen to sleep.

Stes pov

I awaken on the cold floor in nothing but my boxers, I look to my side to see my sexier than ever astonishingly handsome fiancé snoring away, I can't help but watch him in awe while his chest rises and falls, I can see how peaceful and calm Brendan is as he sleeps I carefully study every inch of the man I have vowed to marry with nothing but love in my eyes I am so in love with this man.

I am so tempted to just jump on him right now but I decide against it given how beautiful my man looks, I get up off the ground ever so carefully trying hard not to wake Brendan up, I haven't forgotten the earlier promises we made to one an other if we were to carry out our plans for each other Brendan was going to need his rest wasn't he.

An hour has passed and he still hasn't awoken in the time he has slept I have been out for air to try and sober up, I've listened to music low of course since Kevin, Max and Kyle are all asleep upstairs and I've drank half a bottle of flat cola after staring at him sleeping I have became painfully hard and I'm dying for a piss so I decide to go to the bathroom to relieve myself and then I will come back and wake Brendan up for another round.  
As I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom I feel a hand on my shoulder spin me round "hey ye, I thought ye had left me" Brendan said in a relieved tone, "what on earth possessed such thought Brendan, don't you remember the plans we made for each other certainly a good reason to stick around don't ya think?" "yeah course I remember, even dreamed about ye Steven" "ah now that would explain the moaning then" "oh really Steven? Pretty sure I wasn't the one screaming out oh yres Brendan harder, fuck me till I can't see, tut tut Steven complete filth such a naughty boy ye are" "oh god was I really?" "yeah it took all my strength not to wake ye up and ram my cock up yer arse!" "well I'm awake now Bren so if you have something you need to get out of yer system" I look down at Brendan's already hard cock as he leans into my ear and whispers "Steven what can I say ye make me crazy" then he bites on my earlobe and growls.

I turn and grab him tight by both sides of his face and slam my lips onto him, I lick suck and bite his lips until I gain access to his amazing tongue, Brendan had planned this before he even walked into the bathroom "I'm not gonna fuck ye in the bathroom Steven get yer arse into that bedroom!" I practically run to the bedroom desperate as ever to feel his massive nine incher hit that sweet spot inside me he always seems to find so easily he throws me onto the bed and rips my shirt off leaving it in shreds on the floor he lays over me and begins sucking and licking around my nipples his hands running eagerly down my sides and eventually finding their way to my arse, his hands disappear down my boxers slowly peeling them off my body then he comes back up to kiss me strong and passionately, "Brendan I want you so bad" I find myself crying out "I want ye too Steven, I want to make ye moan out my name" he grips tight onto my arse and I feel a finger slipping closer to my tight little hole his hand comes up to my face and I grab it and obscenely stick it in my hot mouth suck on it and give it back to him hot and wet coated in my saliva.

His hand slips back down to my arse and he wastes no time in sliding the digit into my warm tight entry, "oh Bren that feels so lush" I cry out as he dominates my lips again hard and fast then he moves down to my neck while he slips a second digit into my arse and fucks me fast with both fingers "Bren, Brendan I want you inside me not your fingers!" "I need to prepare ye I don't wanna hurt ye" "just start slow and work your way up gradually you won't hurt me baby" Brendan reaches down and lines himself up against me, my hand strokes his cheek slowly "I thrust you, you wont hurt me" Brendan enters me slowly, taking care inch by inch, it feels like I'm waiting forever to be fucked my breathing is laboured throughout but I constantly stare into his gorgeous blue eyes while he barely moves as he settles into me stretching me to his size and proportion I writhe a little to encourage him to move and he starts thrusting slowly and gently while he kisses me so passionately, this feels like some wild sensual dream like he's taken me to heaven this isn't hardcore drunken fucking this is love, once again Brendan promised wild raging passion and gave me slow sensual love making, I don't mind either is perfect as long as it's Brendan, I wrap my legs tighter around his waist to urge him to go faster and I run my hands down his muscular solid back lightly digging my finger nails into him and he picks up the pace with his thrusts and nibbles my earlobe as I nibble and suck on his slender neck "oh Bren, I've never felt this good you are incredible" at that he thrusts as hard as he can as I moan and scratch his back harder then bite into his neck as he fucks me harder and faster than ever I can tell I'm close and I don't even need him to touch me cos I know I'm going to come just from this alone I go to his lips for one long lingering tongue filled kiss as I moan and writhe beneath him and my white hazy orgasm kicks in within seconds he has also arrived with me and he sinks down and lays his hot sweaty body on top of mine snuffling his face into my neck.

We settle down together catching our breaths together "wow Steven who knew sex could ever be this amazing huh" "yeah but only with you" "yeah?" "yeah you make it amazing Bren I've never felt what I feel when I'm with you I fall more and more every time and I didn't even know that was possible" "I know what ye mean Steven just when I think it isn't possible to love ye anymore than I do ye pull me further in, I'm lost in ye Steven and I don't think I could ever get out even if I wanted te" "well lets hope you never want to" " I know I'l never want te this me and you it's all I'll ever want or need just us and our family" as if on cue Kyle starts crying from his own room, I get ready to go and tend to him but Brendan pushes me back to the bed and shakes his head as he jumps up "I'll go" "no Bren it's ok I'll do it" "Steven I haven't done this for ages I've gotta get used to it I want te be a good da and besides ye still smell like a popped bottle of fine whisky not that I'm complaining but ye can barely hold yerself up in the bed never mind a chair" "yeah okay but you better come back soon I miss ya when you aint here" "oi won't be long oi promise" Brendan gives me the warmest of smiles as he leaves our room and I lie back on the bed staring into space, it's been half an hour since he left and I could swear I can hear singing not just any singing irish familiar singing, I stand up and put on my boxers and trackie bottoms and my bathrobe and head to Kyle's room.

I stand at the door watching Brendan sitting in a desk chair with our baby boy and listening as he sings and talks to him "oi kissed a girl and oi liked it the taste of her cherry chapstick oi kissed a girl and oi liked it oi hope my boyfriend ste your daddy don't mind it, you know kid I sang that song to yer big sister last year and daddy caught me so this time it's our little secret kid shhhh" "oh is it now!" "Steven how long ye been standing there?" "I kissed a girl and I liked it haha does that answer your question" "fuck sake why do I always get caught singing" "eh I've only caught you twice, something you aint telling me?" "yeah Chez might of caught me singing the morning before I declared moi love for ye, the first time I mean in the house" "oh yeah how could I ever forget that oi love ye Steven that's what oi didn't tell ye I love ye" "oi is that supposed to be me?" "yeah how was it?" "quite good actually" "so come on then what did our Cheryl catch you singing" "oi can't tell ye Steven ye will laugh" "come on tell me" I pull my childish pout on him and he gives in "born this way" "what like lady gaga born this way?" "yis" "aww that's so cute, come on give us a line then" "no, no way Steven" "come on Bren me and Kyle want to hear daddy singing don't we Kyle? Yes we do come on daddy" "**fine I'm on the right track, baby**  
**I was born this way**  
**Don't hide yourself in regret**  
**Just love yourself and you're set**  
**I'm on the right track, baby**  
**I was born this way"**  
"aww daddy likes Lady GaGa Kyle who'd of guessed and here I was thinking he only listened to the man in black" "ye remembered that Steven" "course when you were taken away I listened to your Johnny Cash cds everyday" "so ye got a favourite song?" "yeah" "go on then what is it?" "falsom prison blues of course" "ironic huh" "what your favourite one Bren?" "gods gonna cut ye down" "the one you was listening to in the club when we was arguing the one about murdering a lover?" "yeah that the one Steven can't believe ye remember all that stuff" "course I remember I remember every word you ever said to me good and bad when they took you from me that's all I had left memories" I must look sad because I feel it and Brendan gestures at me to come over to him holding kyle at one side with his tiny head resting on his shoulder and his other arm outstretched in my direction "come here baby, come sit with me" " I can't Bren there's nowhere to sit" "yeah there is there's right here" he taps one leg on his free side so I go and sit with him, "I'm sorry about that Steven I'm sorry for leaving ye I will never put anyone above your happiness again not even moi sister I promise from now on ye and Kyle ye will always come first in moi life I swear it soon ye will be moi husband my other half the part of me oi can't be without I love ye always" he says all of this while looking me straight in the eye and I reward his beautiful words with a kiss "and tomorrow I'm taking ye guys out just us for the whole day, somewhere special let Kevin and Maxine have the place to themselves for the day soon would ye like that" "I'd love that Bren" we hear little snores and realise Kyle has gone to sleep again Brendan carefully lays him back down in his cot and takes my hand "come on Steven lets go back te bed".


End file.
